Week 4 When everything turns upside down

 

1. INTRO

1. You all know the story of the prodigal son. But let me tell you what you were never taught in Sunday School. 

1. There was a man who had two sons. His wife left him because he refused to seek help for his depression. So, he was raising the boys by himself. We know he suffered from depression because there is no other explanation of why a person would agree to pretending he was dead and give away half of his belongings. 

2. The younger son suffered from bipolar disorder. What other explanation do you have for a son badgering his father into pretending he was dead so he could have half his property and then spending every penny. It was a classic manic episode.

3. Then the bible says, “He came to himself.” Isn’t that interesting. Maybe it wasn’t the son behaving erratically, maybe it was the disease. And as he started to transition out of his mania. “He came to himself” and realized what he had done. He heads back home hat in hand. 

4. In the meantime, the father has been dreaming up all kinds of bad things that could happen to his son, all the ways someone might take advantage of a young man in his condition. So, when the son shows up in he driveway he is ecstatic. He is shaken from his distorted thinking and throws a party.

5. The older son, who was the classic first child, had been working compulsively to make up for his little brother and make everything perfect. In spite of his efforts, he just KNEW his father had it in for him and overlooked him at every opportunity. Could he have had a little Paranoid Personality Disorder and OCD?

6. Maybe. That is all speculation. Sure, the story can be seen viewed through the traditional family systems lens, but isn’t it interesting to consider that if even one of the three men suffered from a mental illness, it could change the feel of the whole story?

2. While the book “I’m OK you’re OK” was popular, the famous preacher William Sloane Coffin spoke the real truth “I’m not okay and you’re not okay, but that’s okay!”

3. My point is mental illnesses or brain diseases are more common than most people imagine. The CDC reports that the lifetime likelihood of experiencing a short-term mental illness is around 50%. At the top of the list are Anxiety Disorders, Depressive Disorders, and Substance Use Disorders.

2. 
   

1. Which brings us to an important subject. Co-occurring illnesses. 40% of persons with a mental illness also qualify for a second diagnosis. This “co” occurring means “occurring together.” Most common would-be depression, anxiety, or schizophrenia co-occurring with a Substance Use Disorder. Either one could be dominant. Alcohol, for instance is a depressant, so alcoholics are prone to depression. On the other hand, depression and anxiety hurt so some folks start self-medicating by trying to numb themselves with alcohol or drugs. I just learned a couple weeks ago in my Peer-to-Peer class that our brain’s nicotine receptors are connected to what we as lay people might call the pleasure center of the brain. That helps me understand nicotine addiction and why mental health units used to be the smokiest place in the hospital. 

2. Substance Related and Addictive Disorders is, by the way is listed in the DSM5. That is the book of all the official mental illnesses put out by the American Psychiatric Association. Any debate about behavior vs. illness should be put to rest. Although there is undoubtedly a behavioral aspect to Substance use Disorder it is much, much more complicated than that. Also notice that the proper terminology has become substance USE disorder. The term abuse has a judgmental tone which does not belong in medicine. It should be a reminder for us too, that our language matters. Remember Substance USE disorder and a person WITH a mental illness not equating the person with the illness. Those would be to big steps toward destigmatizing mental illnesses. 

3. Finally, I want to address the painful subject of suicide. The language here is “DIED BY SUICIDE” because to “commit” suicide sounds like “commit” a bank robbery, or “commit” a murder. We say DIED BY SUICIDE because suicide is a tragedy, not a crime. 

1. Suicide is not defined as its own illness yet. Suicidal Behavior Disorder, however, is being studied as a possible future diagnosis. The truth is that suicidal behavior crosses the boundaries of many types of mental illnesses, and in some cases, without any identifiable mental illness at all. 

2. My best understanding of suicide is that is a desperate act to relieve pain. It is an act of hopelessness that things will ever be better - and a last resort. If we believe that the future could in some meaningful way be better than today, killing oneself would go against every basic survival instinct in our bodies. However, take away hope… take away a future… in some cases take away meaning and meaningful relationships… and we can begin to understand that for some people death might seem like the only viable solution. My belief is that, even with no discernable diagnosis of a mental illness, for at least a brief time (sadly perhaps a very brief time) the person who dies by suicide is mentally ill. And in this community, I think it is particularly important to hear me say that God’s mercy extends to every person, every child of God, but perhaps I believe there might be a little extra grace and compassion for infants who die at birth, persons with developmental disabilities, those who have become so hopeless that they die by suicide. Not that God loves them more, but like a parent has a special mercy for the child who needs it the most. 

3. Some believe that suicide is the ultimate denial of God and therefore a sin, and unforgivable. I believe it is the result of hopelessness, illness, and desperation and therefore not a sin to be forgiven, but a tragedy we must face. 

4. Given the pain it leaves behind, it is obviously not a good choice. So, it is up to us to be as educated as possible and even trained to help steer people away from making a final choice for suicide. And I have a 2-hour suicide prevention class at 2:00 March 1. You can sign up on the response page in your pew. 

4. There are so many more things I would like to share with you. We didn’t touch on some very important things like PTSD, children’s and youth mental health, the genetic link that sometimes goes from generation to generation, the criminalization of mental illness, the importance of prescription medications in balancing brain chemistry and improving life for millions of people, the unconscionable lack of available services in some areas, the closure of long tern facilities for those who simply can not live in an open society, the awful stress it places on families and friends, and certainly my observation that here in Carroll we could certainly use more providers, but the mental health providers we have are top notch. I can refer you to any of our mental health providers without a moment’s hesitation. But they are stressed beyond the breaking point these days. That is why we are asking you to make a care package for one or more providers. I suggest chocolate (one of the best nonprescription medicines) a small gift like a mug with teas or gift card, and a personal note or thank you card for all they do. Bring them here and we will distribute them to the mental health providers in our community.

3. CONCLUSION

1. As I end this series of sermons, I just want to summarize by saying, “I’m not ok, you may not be ok, but that is ok.”

2. We are in good company with people like Isaac Newton, Beethoven, Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Leo Tolstoy, Charles Dickens, Michelangelo, Vincent Van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, Jane Pauley, Bette Midler (to name a few), and even “Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling who wrote of her depression that “rock-bottom became the solid foundation on which I re-built my life.”

3.  “I’m not ok, you may not be ok, but these folks weren’t either so that is ok.”

4. When we come to the end of our rope and you think you have nothing left on which to stand, nothing left to pray remember, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.”

5.  “I’m not okay and you’re not okay, but we’ll be ok with the eternal presence of God and the power of prayer in our lives.

6. You can make a difference

1. Watch for changes in the people around you and ASK if they are OK.

2. ACCEPT them and what they say.

3. BE A FRIEND which might mean getting them some help, but usually means walking with us through the sunny days and the dark days.

4. CONNECT friends with a mental illness to community. First, certainly community resources to get them help. But second to a community of faith. By now I hope you see the difference faith can make. And we as the church have an opportunity and an obligation to embrace people with mental illness and make them part of a loving and supportive community. That includes hosting suicide prevention classes, Family to Family classes and Peer to Peer classes. 

5. I’m not Ok and you may not be OK, but God is OK with that. Working through the church God’s message to all people is “You are loved” “you are loved by God and by us.”

6. “We are not alone. We have God with us. We have Jesus beside us. We have the Holy Spirit touching us with faith, hope and love. We have each other.”