“Do not worry… easier said than done” March 22, 2020 online only

“Do not worry… easier said than done”

March 22, 2020 online only

Imagine the densest fog you can. You can hardly see the end of your nose let alone your hand in front of your face. It covers your house, your block and the three blocks to the right and to the left. The fog is one hundred feet deep.

That dense fog covering 7 city blocks is made of less than one glass of water divided into sixty thousand million drops. Really, there isn’t much there, but it can paralyze anyone within its grip 

Isn’t that the way worry is? It is estimated that the average worrier- worries 40% about things that will never happen …30% -- about the past that can't be changed… 12% -- about criticism by others which is mostly untrue… 10% -- about health, which gets worse with stress … and only 8% of our worry is about real problems that we will actually face.

In this current environment, maybe those percentages are modified a little, but I suspect that these days most of us have worst case scenarios in our minds that scare us.

When we are scared, a little part of our brain called the amygdala kicks into overdrive. It is the part of our brain that at one time kept us from chasing after that saber tooth tiger. We rarely run into a saber tooth tiger anymore, but there are things that activate the amygdala: strange new viruses, the thought of running out of toilet paper, sneezes, and doorknobs come to mind. We listen to all the signals in our environment including the 24hour cycle of COVID-19 news updates and our brain flashes danger, danger, danger!!

When our amygdala sounds the alarm, our bodies go into hyperdrive; adrenaline, cortisone, neurotransmitters, and hormones start rushing to their battle stations. That’s how a 100-pound grandmother can lift a car off her grandchild who is pinned underneath. We are endowed with what seems like superpowers, extra energy, an even heightened awareness of the dangers around us so we can defend ourselves.

What happens when the danger is invisible? Well, our natural response is either fight or flight. There isn’t much we can do to fight an invisible enemy. So, we

choose flight deeper and deeper into our own homes, fears, anxieties, and isolation. I don’t know about you, but the dark of the night is the time when worry seems to overpower me. So the more we practice social distancing, the more we stay home, the more we are alone with our dark thoughts, the more we retreat into the quiet dark places that keep us safe from the COVID-19 virus the more time we have time to listen to our fears and worries.

A retired police chief friend of mine talks about the effect that rollercoaster anxiety has on police officers. The radio squawks and their adrenaline pumps sky high, which is important for the officer’s safety and performance. They deal with the situation and the amygdala relaxes. Then there is another call and the adrenaline, goes back up again and the cycle starts all over. My friend says research shows that this adrenaline rollercoaster is a major contributor to PTSD, mental illness, and physical problems.

Today, we are kind of in that same place and although caution is the magic word of the week, worry will not make us safer or healthier. Many listen to the news and their anxiety goes up. Many see a stranger and their anxiety goes up. Others stay on high alert. This hypervigilance takes a toll on us as well. For me, it was walking through the grocery store and seeing empty shelves. I had everything I needed, but it makes me feel insecure and a little worried.

 A story is told about a man who came face to face with the dangers of worry: Death was walking toward a city one morning and a man asked, ''What are you going to do?''

''I'm going to take 100 people,'' Death replied.

''That's horrible!'' the man said.

''That's the way it is,'' Death said. ''That's what I do.''

The man hurried to warn everyone he could about Death's plan. As evening fell, he met Death again. ''You told me you were going to take 100 people,'' the man said. ''Why did 1,000 die?''

''I kept my word,'' Death responded. ''I only took 100 people. Worry took the rest.''

Paul addresses worry straight on in the 4th chapter of Philippians. Paul writes, “Do not worry about anything.” My first reaction is to say, “That’s silly. That’s like telling a cat to not lick itself. It is part of who I am. It is part of who we are. Don’t worry? Easier said than done. What do we look like a warthog singing hakuna matata in the lion king?”

Yet It is hard to write Paul off as a kook because Jesus says virtually the same thing. “Therefore, I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

Jesus stops there, but Paul goes on to help us a little in Philippians 4.

It helps to know a little of the story. Paul was in Philippi to start a church. This was the first church in Europe and Philippi was a large city. The ruins of the city include the main highway of the Roman Empire, the Egnatia (ig nashia), and an outdoor theater that once held 3,000 or more spectators. Paul and his companions met Lydia and some other God-fearing women, and a new church is born. All was good, until Paul healed a child in the name of Jesus, and her “owners” trump up charges against Paul because he had ruined their primary source of income, having their own private side show with this child as the star.

The three preachers were subsequently imprisoned. At midnight in the dark of the night, when most of us would be worrying into our pillows these three started singing praise songs. The Bible says an earthquake opened the doors of the prison for them. That happened right before the Philippians own eye and probably made quite an impression on him.

In addition, Paul writes in 2 Corinthians about his suffering.   Five times I have received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. 25 Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I received a stoning. Three times I was shipwrecked; for a night and a day I was adrift at sea; 26 on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from bandits, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers and sisters; 27 in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, hungry and thirsty, often without food, cold and naked

Now think about this…the man who wrote that … is the same man who wrote, “Do not worry about anything.”  To know that the person saying that has suffered in every way imaginable makes me look at it just a little differently. It gives that teaching a lot more credibility. On the one hand that Paul has suffered all these hardships. On the other hand, he says, “worry about nothing.” Let’s dig into that a little more.

Paul starts before our key passage writing, “Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice.” I know that seems like an unlikely place to start when we are talking about worry. Who can rejoice and worry at the same time… Ah… that is exactly the point?

Yes, it is serious. COVID-19 has killed 10,000 and infected a quarter million people world-wide. “Rejoice” seems like an unlikely place to start when we are isolated in our homes,

if we are constantly worried about losing our job, we can’t rejoice

if we are afraid of every little sneeze and sniffle, we can’t rejoice

if we are obsessed with the 24-hour corona updates on the TV, we can’t rejoice

            Worry is a persistent enemy. It is almost like an addiction. It is hard to stop worrying and start rejoicing but we must try.

You see worry is as bad as unforgiveness that I was talking about 2 weeks ago. Worry can kill you too; physically, emotionally, and spiritually just like unforgiveness. Worry has a very interesting word history.

''The word 'worry' is derived from an Old Anglo-Saxon word meaning to “strangle” or “to choke.” In worry the off switch is broken on that amygdala that I talked about. We are always in that heightened state of defensiveness. The amygdala “chokes” the brain until the brain looks at a sunrise and only perceives the darkness, worry chokes the heart until fearfulness is normal. Worry chokes the spirit until faith dies.

Worry is not the opposite of hakuna matata or be happy.  Worry is the opposite of trust, which is part of faith.

And when we begin to give up our faith and replace it with worry, we are choosing to trust in ourselves and our abilities, and as we trust more in ourselves and less in God we slip further and further away from God. Not by God’s choice but ours. The first thing Paul teaches us is to make the intentional choice for joy rather than fear, anxiety, darkness, and worry…  CHOSE TO REJOICE INSTEAD OF WORRY.

The second step on Paul’s list as we battle worry is in direct answer to the question “How do we not worry about anything?” The passage reads

*Do not worry about anything, but (instead, alternatively, here’s another option for you) *instead everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Do you see the three-fold directions Paul gives us? We could spend a whole sermon series just unpacking those. But Here is a very simple way to think of it.

We make our requests to God by prayer, which has a major component of praise. This is the WOW prayer. Wow you are awesome God. Wow you are infinite God. Wow you are pure love God. This is the kind of prayer that we experience when we see a sunrise or a sunset and the only thing we can think to do is to fall on our knees and praise God.

The second component in the list is supplication. Supplication is a big word for begging or pleading. This is where we come before God humbly, let me say that word again humbly asking God for whatever it is that we need, we don't come with pride, we don't come with arrogance, we don't come with the assumption that God is going to give us everything we ask for, we come humbly before the almighty God and we place our needs before God. We trust God with those needs and God has never failed us.

WE CHOSE TO GIVE EVERYTHING TO God AND NOT TAKE IT BACK

The final act of prayer is Thanksgiving. It's perfectly natural to thank God at the end of our prayers. We teach our children to say thank you. I don't think God is going to stop us on our way to bed and say, “now what do you say?” but thanksgiving is an essential part of our prayers. Our prayers of praise, our prayers of supplication or asking, and our prayers of Thanksgiving all carry the needs and make them known before God. We can trust completely that God hears and answers every single one of those prayers. Now we might not be looking for the answer that we receive the answer might be no or not yet or it might come in a form that we don't expect. But God never ignores us.

Remember the children’s time and the paper bag? Well, that’s the idea. We give all our worries up to God by prayer supplication and thanksgiving and leave them there. Sure, we can climb up and arm wrestle God to get our prayers back. But I really don't recommend that.

WE CHOSE TO GIVE EVERYTHING TO God AND NOT TAKE IT BACK

And as we come to the end of this passage from Philippians a wonderful image comes to us. Paul says and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” The image here is of God’s protection. The Greek word translated guard, as in “he will GUARD your hearts and minds,” That Greek word is used to describe the way a garrison of soldiers might guard the city walls. He'll guard your hearts and minds like a detachment guards the city. Get inside God's city walls, so to speak, in Christ Jesus. and God's peace will march like a sentry around your potential anxieties.

So, Paul’s formula is to CHOOSE TO REJOICE, CHOOSE TO OFFER EVERYTHING TO GOD… and all the things we worried about, all the that have troubled us, all the things that make out nights long and sleepless, all the little worries that have ruined a day, all the things that that we cannot change that make us anxious, all the worries about tomorrow, all the uncontrollable, unpredictable, unimaginable things… will become a little smaller leaving room for our faith to become a little bigger.

This is not nearly as complicated as we've often made it out to be. If you're anxious about an issue, you've been thinking about the thing that makes you anxious. If you'd like to stop worrying, you'll have to intentionally choose to give up worry and take on rejoicing. You have to intentionally choose to give up all the things you're worrying about and think about other things. Paul writes "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. . .. And (then) the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8, 9, emphasis added)

This will take a great amount of discipline, but Paul was crystal clear. CHOOSE TO SET OUR MINDS ON THE BLESSINGS OF FAITH.

When we give our coronavirus anxieties over to God and OUR minds will be protected in Christ Jesus.

When we give over our economic anxiety to God, God will protect our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

When we give up our mistrust and paranoia about everyone and everything around us, God will protect our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

I hope that you have typed in some of the things that worry you the most because I'm going to go to those answers now and say,

When we give up our worry about ------------------------God will protect our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus

Give all your worries to God and let God protect your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. May your anxious moments be rare, may your sleepless nights be few, may you be protected from Fear of what may happen tomorrow, may you be sustained and strengthened and protected in Christ Jesus. AMEN

The power and problem of forgiveness: How? Carroll UMC 3/14-15 2020

The power and problem of forgiveness: How?

Carroll UMC 3/14-15 2020

Introduction

I never planned to preach this sermon.

Oh, I have preached many sermons on forgiveness… but not like this one.  It is hard to stand up and admit how hard forgiveness has been for me. Maybe it isn’t all that bad because as I have struggled, I have learned a lot. Let me share some of what I have learned from one situation a few years ago.

It all started a few years ago late one evening when I received an email that was devastating. It was from a parishioner and someone I considered a friend. We had, in fact, trusted her like family. I still don’t know what precipitated it,                                 and the details are not important, but because of the relationship I had with the author, it was one of the most gut-wrenching things I have ever read. And her timing was perfect.  It was late at night and I was taking off on a youth mission trip early the next day. I tried to push it out of my mind, but it was impossible.

When I arrived home, I tried to connect with her but she was unwilling to sit down and discuss it, let alone meet me part way.

 RT Kendall, the longtime pastor of Westminster Chapel in London, tells a similar painful story with a person he had considered a surrogate father figure.

He couldn’t talk to anyone in his church or family about it, so he talked it over at length with a friend who was visiting from Romania, an evangelist named Josif Tson. After he poured out all the sordid details of what his “so-called friend” had done to him, he paused, waiting for Pastor Tson to put his arm around him and say, “R. T., you are right to feel so angry. What happened to you was so awful it is unforgivable, and you have every right to spew venom right back at the man.”

But he didn’t. After listening to all the details, pastor Tson said, simply, Ray, “You must totally forgive him.” Pastor Kendall was dumbfounded so he started to tell the story all over again, thinking that his friend had missed the awfulness of what had happened.

 Pastor Tson interrupted with words that would change R. T. Kendall’s life, “You must totally forgive him. Release him, and you will be set free.”

“Release them and you will be set free.”  This whole series might be summed up with those words. “Release them and you will be set free.” For this series of sermons, I am defining Christian forgiveness 

 as “A decision we make to not imprison others or ourselves in the past, so we can be free today.”

It’s a decision, a conscious choice, to release others from their sins against us so that we can be set free. “Release them, and you will be set free.” Which sounds great until like Pastor Kendall we are faced with real hurt in our lives. Remember, CS Lewis said, “everyone thinks forgiveness is a great idea, until they have someone to forgive?”  It is much harder than it sounds.

Just a moment of review, I think this might be one of the most important and difficult series I have ever preached, so I left copies of the last weeks sermon on the table in the back in case you missed it.

 Last week I was teaching that unforgiveness will kill you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And as recipients of God’s wonderful forgiving grace we are commanded to forgive others. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,  so that you may be children of your Father in heaven.” Jesus is very clear about the importance of forgiveness. Remember, to pray the Lord’s Prayer “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” is to ask God to do unto us as we have done unto others.  To forgive us only as much as we have forgiven others.

  That’s Fair enough isn’t it?   But the question is how?  How do we forgive the person who hurt us so badly?  How do we forgive the spouse who betrayed us?  How do we forgive the person who took advantage of us a child? How do we forgive the person who took our loved one from us, or maybe worse did unspeakable things to our child?  How do we forgive the mass shooter, the drunk driver, the child pornographer, the child who broke our heart, or the preacher who failed us? 

To tell you the truth, I really thought I had forgiven the woman I talked about. At the Academy for Spiritual Formation, however. we were asked to write a letter of forgiveness. I thought I had this forgiveness thing all under control, so I wrote to that person. As I wrote, the deep wounds opened up again and I discovered that I had to forgive all over again.

In that process I learned some things that I later found in RT Kendall’s book.

So, today, I want to share what I and others have learned about the process of forgiveness. I hope it will help you too.

 I started my letter of forgiveness

that day probably three or four times. It seemed that it always started out something like, “Dear so and so… you can’t imagine how much you hurt me, how unfair and cruel you lies were…how it has affected my family” does that sound like a letter of forgiveness to you?  NO, it didn’t to me either, so I crumpled it up and started again.

As I sat in my favorite little corner in the small chapel I snuggled into the pillows and started again,  I read it back to myself something like “You lied, gossiped, after all we meant to each other you stabbed me in the back…” Well I realized that it was less a letter of forgiveness, and more a list of charges.  My pulse rate went up and I realized that I was trapped because I was STILL keeping that person the prison of her past behavior. Consequently, I was keeping myself imprisoned by her behavior as well.

I turned my letter into a “dialogue prayer.” That is a wonderful type of prayer I want to teach all of you someday.  As I dialogued with God, I could almost audibly hear God asking, “Do you understand how much she was hurting? Do you see how scared she was? Do you understand why she did that? Do you see that she too is my beloved child?” 

 Slowly the first step in forgiveness dawned on me. The first step to forgiveness is REHUMANIZING the person who hurt us. I had to stop thinking of that person as a knife stuck in my back and start thinking of her once again as a beloved child of God.

Our first step in forgiveness is admitting that the person who harmed us is a real person. We tend to label them in ways that make them seem less human; the enemy, the “perp,” the animal.  Childishly calling them names does not mean that they are any less loved by God.  We have to remove any attitude that keeps us from rediscovering or recognizing the other person’s humanity.

Let’s be clear that recognizing their humanity does not in any way diminish our pain.  Actually, recognizing their humanity… and affirming God’s love, for them reminds us that we are more similar than different. That may be hard to swallow. We are more similar than different. We are all sinners.  It acknowledges that at the root we are all brothers and sisters even when we hurt one another.

If you turn to Matthew 5 you will see that the first thing Jesus says is “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, Love your enemies.” He doesn’t say LIKE them.  He says “agape” them. Love them as God loves us, unconditionally, no matter what they have done, love them enough to see them as a brother or a sister created in the image of the one true God.

As I went back to my prayer, I found myself softening and starting to see that person from God’s perspective. 

 But something was holding my back,

 if only they would apologize, if only they would promise to act differently in the future, if only they would promise never to do that again.  I would have liked some justice.  But expecting justice or anything else form the other person prevents us from effectively forgiving.

Lewis Smeede says the second stage of forgiveness is “surrendering our right to get even.” I don’t think I wanted to get even as such, but maybe wanting an apology is a way of getting even. If we are to forgive, we have to give up any right we might think we have to expect an apology, repentance, punishment, or anything else of the other person.  The person might have consequences; like we may choose to no longer be friends, or they may spend some time in jail, but as far as our expectations they are off the hook.

 Jumping down to verse 45 we see Jesus says “so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.”

If we are both children of the same heavenly father, is it my job to punish them? How often does it work to let one sibling punish the other? Not very often.  It is our job in forgiveness to give up any claim we have to justice… and in so doing we let them out of the prison of the past.

So, the second step in forgiveness is letting them out of prison, or giving up our right to justice.

We start by seeing them as human, then we give up our right to get even, 

 I finished my prayer by praying for the same things for the other person that I want for myself.

I prayed for God to fill me with love, and I prayed the same for her. I prayed for God to release me from this, and for God to release her. I prayed for our trust to be restored. I prayed for God to repair the foundations of both our lives that had been shaken by this event. I prayed for God to heal both of us of our pain. I prayed for God to forgive both of us and fill us with joy and hope.

  And you know what… praying for blessings for that person started to change my heart toward them.  I started to let myself out of the prison of the past. Looking back, I did what Jesus said here, I “prayed for those who persecuted me,” I decided if I can’t pray for them, the same blessings I want for myself, that I had not really forgiven them. So, I did.

Notice I did not say it changed my feelings toward her.  I said it began to change my heart, my attitude, my mindset, my viewpoint.

 Feelings are feelings, we can’t really control them.  If we feel something, we feel it.   But think about our definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not feeling.  No Forgiveness is “A decision,” “A decision we make to not imprison others - or ourselves - in the past.”  Not a feeling… a decision. If we wait until we feel like forgiving, we will never forgive. I admit that my gut still gets knotted up thinking about the person of whom I have been speaking. Maybe my feelings will follow someday, but it may take a long time, or never.

Forgiveness, then, is a matter of the head… making a decision. So, we decide to revise our attitude about the person, we change our thinking up here and here, and pray that our guts will eventually follow our head and heart.

If we decide not to set them free, not to change our heart, the forgiveness cycle is broken and incomplete. WE can always pick it up where we left off, but until then we remain imprisoned with the person who hurt us, in the hurt of the past.

It is said that you’ll know you have reached total forgiveness when you are able to ask God to bless those who have hurt you so deeply. This is indeed a high standard, so high that without God it is impossible.  All forgiveness, whether we are the forgiver or the forgivee, ultimately comes from God.

I want to go back to feelings for a minute.   Because forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling, and because we cannot always control our feelings, we have to know that the feelings of anger, hurt, resentment, and fear, may very well come back. In spite of the decision we have made.  It is kind of like an onion. We take the outside layer off and push it away. At some time, maybe sooner, maybe later, the onion makes its way back in front of us. And we have to make another decision to forgive. So we peel off another layer and set it aside again. 

We can’t be sure that it won’t come back.  But if it does, we peal off another layer and set it aside again and again and again.

The bad thing is it keeps coming back… the good thing is we get lots of practice forgiving.

 So three steps to forgiveness:

Humanizing the other person, seeing them as a child of God.

Letting go of your right for revenge, or your right to judge.

Finally revising our attitude until you can pray for God to bless them. Over and over.

Let me end with another video.

 

https://www.charismamag.com/spirit/spiritual-growth/10629-10-reasons-why-we-should-totally-forgive-ourselves

The Power and Problem of Forgiveness: WHY? Carroll UMC 3/7 and 3/8 2020

The Power and Problem of Forgiveness: WHY?

Carroll UMC 3/7 and 3/8 2020

 A man was lucky enough to find a Genie, but it was a discount Genie and only offered one wish. Anything he wanted. The only catch was whatever he wished for his enemies would get double. The man thought and thought. He couldn’t stand the thought that his enemies would get twice as much wealth or that they would live twice as long.  He finally had a genius idea. The next day when the Genie appeared the Genie said, “remember, your enemies will get double your wish, so chose carefully.” The man said I have the perfect wish.  I wish to have one eye poked out.”.

  C. S. Lewis was right: “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.”

When people hear the word forgiveness, they react in a couple different ways.

Some might say, “Finally, I hope so and so is listening.

Some might want to get up and walk out because you don’t want me meddling with your grudges and bitterness. 

Others might tune me out because they expect a sanctimonious sermon wagging my finger at all of YOU who have trouble with forgiveness. I want you to know the truth.  I am preaching this series to myself, and letting you listen in. 

I need it at least as much as any of you.

So, for the brave souls who are still here,

the foundational doctrine behind God’s forgiveness is that God is love. And the foundational doctrine behind human forgiveness is that we are made in God’s graciously loving image. In fact, the central facts of the Christian faith, Jesus death on the cross and the resurrection, are all about forgiveness. It is one thing, however to seek God’s forgiveness… after all God is kind of in the forgiving business.    It is a very different thing to take the next step and say since we are made in the image of God we too are in the forgiving business. 

Let’s start then with WHY? 

Why would we want to forgive?

After all, “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, right?”

It is natural to want to protect ourselves from those who have hurt us. In fact we must protect ourselves.

That doesn’t mean we can’t forgive but why would we want to?

 First let’s start with our bodies. Unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger are like a disease. It is more than a spiritual disease.  It is one that has a real effect on our bodies.

Of all cancer patients, 61 percent have forgiveness issues, and of those, more than half are severe. Unforgiveness and the anxiety that it causes produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which are the body's foot soldiers in the fight against cancer,"  

The National Co-morbidity Study asked nearly 10,000 U.S. residents, “Have you ever held a grudge against someone for years?”  Those who said yes also had higher rates of heart disease, cardiac arrest, elevated blood pressure, stomach ulcers, arthritis, back problems, headaches, chronic pain,  brain hemorrhage, anorexia, bulimia, sleeplessness, and  psychological disorders.

Literally unforgiveness will kill you.

 Second, unforgiveness spills over into all our relationships, degrading our communication skills, thinking abilities and decision-making power.

Unforgiveness is a chronic trauma which causes the brain to go into a hyperactive state which can cause hormonal imbalance . We become obsessed with the wrong. We become mistrusting of everyone. We become unable to enjoy present relationships. We have increased trouble maintaining healthy relationships.   We have increased likelihood of divorce, loneliness, depression, and suicide.

Unforgiveness is a poison that kills other relationships one at a time until leaving a person completely and desperately alone.

 Finally, unforgiveness puts us directly at odds with every major religious tradition in the world because they all encourage forgiveness.

Unforgiveness creates more than just a little problem for Christians because for us forgiveness is not just encouraged, it is a fundamental expectation. We are taught that our inability to forgive clogs the pipeline that brings divine forgiveness to us.

                                                                                                                                    Augustine said that the 5th petition of the Lord’s prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses, (or debts or sins) as we forgive those who trespass against us,” is a terrible  petition.  He pointed out that if you pray these words while harboring an unforgiving spirit, you are actually asking God NOT to forgive you. Think about that for a minute          .We are praying  “O God, deal with me as I deal with other people.” Do unto me as I have done to others.” Spurgeon said to pray the Lord ’s Prayer with an unforgiving spirit is to sign your own death warrant.

You can see unforgiveness is a real problem in every part of our lives; physical, emotional, and spiritual. Let’s keep digging a little deeper into the spiritual reasons to forgive.

If you want the bottom line…(spoiler alert ) we forgive  “because Jesus said so.”

Over and over again Jesus teaches that we must forgive.  Let’s build up to today’s gospel lesson.

In Matthew chapter 5 is filled with great teaching about forgiveness. We talk about it several times In verse 7 Jesus said

  “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.”  I said in another sermon that mercy is giving someone something they don’t deserve… like forgiveness when they have hurt us.

In verse 21, we find Jesus expanding the Old Testament law. The law said do not murder, Jesus says do not be angry.  In order to free ourselves of anger we must forgive.

 Then in verse 23, Jesus talks about how unforgiveness affects our relationship with God and our ability to worship. He says if you are headed to church, and you realize someone has something against you (I think it goes without saying that he would also say if you have anything against someone else) stop where you are. Go take care of the relationship and then come back to offer your gift to God.  Carrying a load of unforgiveness means we can’t lift our hearts and hands in worship.. How can you worship a forgiving God if you are unforgiving?

 I John 4 puts it this way “20 Those who say, ‘I love God,’ and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen.”  Those who cannot forgive a brother or sister are fundamentally unable to receive God’s forgiveness. 

Now let me be clear… this is not talking about our salvation.  We cannot earn our salvation by forgiving others. That would be works righteousness.   No, this is instruction on how we must live out our salvation.

 Which brings us to the story of the unforgiving servant from Matthew 18.

We are like the unforgiving servant. We stand before Almighty God with our sins piled up like a mountain. The mountain is so tall we can’t get over it, so deep we can’t get under it, so wide we can’t go around it. That’s every one of us. Our sins are like a $500 million dollar debt we could never pay in our lifetime or in a thousand lifetimes. We come as debtors to God, come with empty hands, and we say, “I cannot pay.” God who is rich in mercy replies, “I forgive all your sins. My Son has paid the debt. You owe me nothing.” Then we rise from the pew, leave the communion table, walk outside the church humming “Amazing grace my chains are gone .”

 And before we get to our car we see someone who borrowed $2 from us, so we grab him by the throat and say, “Pay me right now! or else.”

The parable ends with more terrible words… I wish we could sugar coat them but we can’t

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

  Jesus concludes, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Bottom line. If you release them, you will be set free.

 For this series of sermons I am defining Christian forgiveness as, “A decision we make to not imprison others our ourselves in the past.”

It’s a conscious choice to release others from their sins against us so that we can be set free. Release them, and you will be set free.

Which all sounds great until we get real. The very moment we say those words, the mind begins to argue with us: “But you don’t know what he did to me.” “They lied about me over and over again.” You know the excuses your brain makes up.

I know how hard it is. I am right there with you.  In the next several sermons we are going to talk about how we forgive, and some of the hurdles to forgiveness.  We will work through some of the hard questions together.

I promise I will never tell you that forgiveness is easy.  Only that you must set them free to be free yourself.

I am going to share a powerful video story of forgiveness. It might hit close to home for some, but if you can stick with it, it is worth it.

  (video)

Release them, and you will be set free.

First umc Windows into heaven: the light of the children 2/29/20-3/1/20

First umc

Windows into heaven: the light of the children

2/29/20-3/1/20

Kids, you have to love them, right? These are supposed to be true stories.

A Sunday school teacher asked: who lived in the garden of Eden?

A child answered: the Adams family

A woman invited some people to dinner and asked the 6-year-old to bless the food. 

"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.

"Just say what you hear mommy say," her mother answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said," Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

After the baptism of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "The preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

As I said, “kids, you have to love them.” And we do.  They bring joy to our families and life to the church.  That’s why I love to have kids in worship, participating in worship, and even leading worship. That’s also why it is so neat to have a window dedicated to children in the back of the sanctuary.  Part of the story is that someone in the choir asked for a stained-glass window they could see on the way out. It was decided that since the youth gave the church the “Door of the Fold” window, the older generation would give the church the “Jesus and the children” window. It is intended to compliment the “Door of the Fold” window. For instance, both show Jesus tending “the flock.”

Also, look how similar the postures of the 2 Jesuses are. The lamb or the baby cradled in an arm, another at his feet, the hand extended in hospitality.  It is virtually the same Jesus. Someone put a lot of thought into that. And both Jesuses have that same intently loving gaze fixed on the children as the Jesus up front whose attention is focused on the sheep.

The first panel was installed in 2004 and the last in 2007. Carol north, who headed the project, said, “the three windows are celebrating our children, their importance in our church family, the need for Christian education, and the acknowledgement they are the future of our church. “

 The plaque above the window, which Kat nicknamed “Methodist Marble” because it is faux painted wood, says, “Jesus said, ‘let the little children come to me.’”  That comes from Matthew 19:14.

Carol North and I were talking and we both really prefer the Markan version of that story. This is the passage from Mark, the words in red are Mark’s additions to Matthew.

 people were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them, and the disciples spoke sternly to them.  but when Jesus saw this, he was indignant as in outraged, angry, furious, and resentful. That’s how much Jesus cared for the children. Jesus loves the little children is not just a cute song.  It is gospel truth.

Jesus said to them, “let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.  truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” and he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.”

That is radical for the first century where children were appreciated in the family but barely tolerated in society. The language of the day is even offensive. One Greek word for child also can mean “servant” or “slave.” Another means “foolish,” and “helpless.” That is the word Paul used when he wrote I Cor 14:20 and told the church to “stop thinking like children.” 

Jesus would never have said that. In fact, remember what he said, “whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” In other words, we need to think or believe like children in order to be kingdom people.

This was not the only time Jesus sided with the kids. There are three more places.

Matthew11:25-26, speaking to the crowds in galilee, Jesus declared, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.” Jesus is saying adults have a hard time understanding these things, for children it is easy peasy… so stop acting your age and think like a 5-year-old.

Again, imagine, the people’s astonishment when the disciples were asking about who was greatest in the kingdom and Jesus picked out the noisiest, most wiggly, most impatient child in the crowd. He places him in front of the crowd (Matthew 18:1-9). With his hand on the lad’s shoulder, Jesus has the audacity to identify him as the role model.

Unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Finally, just after he cleared the temple of the money changers, heals the blind and the lame and the kids start shouting, “hosanna to the son of David.”  The chief priests and teachers of the law were furious and demanded of him, “Do you hear what these children are saying?” “Yes,” replied Jesus, “have you never read, ‘from the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise’?”  (Matthew 21:12–16) which comes from psalm (8:2) so Jesus used their own scripture against them.

When the religious leaders scoff at Jesus: “can’t you control these ignorant, foolish, and lowly children who like to pretend that you are the messiah. You might be able to fool them, but we see right through you!” Jesus shrewdly turned the tables, saying, “these so called “ignorant” children have it right… you are the one being fooled.”

What should we be learning from our children? I see several clues in the window.

 First, the thing that sticks out to me, besides Jesus, is the little boy on the left with the shepherd’s staff dressed almost like Jesus. His right hand is raised even pointing toward Jesus as though he is preaching or inviting the girls to come see Jesus.  He has seen Jesus preaching and inviting and he is imitating him. Kids love to do what the adults do. 

Then there is the little boy on the right. Do you notice how he is holding the lamb almost like Jesus is holding the baby?  Again, I think he is being classily childlike. Children do what they see respected adults doing. seen Jesus preaching and inviting and he is the little boy on the right is also imitating Jesus. Kids imitating him Kids love to do what the adults do.

Children are like mirrors into their parent’s behavior. (sometimes embarrassingly so) do you remember the old commercial where the father and son walked hand in hand, sat down under a tree and the father took out a pack cigarette and lit up? The boy watches very carefully. Then he looks down at the pack a cigarette and, if I remember right, he reaches toward it. The voiceover was “like father like son?”

For good or for ill our children will do as we do, say as we say, and treat others the way we treat them. When amber, Richie and then noah were young, if I vacuumed, I knew one of them would be right beside me.  If I was working on something, they had to have the same tools.  If I was reading, they wanted to read. Growing up in a preacher’s house, Amber even made her breakfast toast and juice into communion.

 My dad was a mechanic.  I can’t tell you how many times my brother and I took our bikes, mine was the coolest (a yellow huffy with a banana seat and high-rise handlebars). We turned them upside down and “fixed” them whether they needed it nor not,

That is how kids are… they imitate adults.

If we want to get into the Kingdom of God, we need to imitate Jesus.  Shouldn’t we be following in Jesus footsteps? Doing as he does, loving a he loves, accepting others as he accepted them.? Of course, we should.

As we become young adults, we gain enough self-esteem and self-differentiation, however, that we value our individuality and think doing things our way is better.  If we were a little more like the two boys in the picture, doing as Jesus does, walking as Jesus walks, loving as Jesus loves, forgiving as Jesus forgives, we would be better disciples. If we spent our lives trying to imitate Jesus, we would be better children of the kingdom.

Second, look at the girls with the flowers on the left side. There are actually several flowers throughout the window.

  Some look like Easter lilies for resurrection even though this is clearly a pre-crucifixion Jesus, some are another kind of lily, some roses… the most perfect of flowers  one girl appears to me to holding a simple daisy (which traditionally reminds us of the innocence of the Christ child)  and the other a simple poppy which is associated with the crucifixion.

  There is one thing these flowers and the children have in common.  Jesus says the flowers “neither toil nor spin.”

In Luke 12:22-23 Jesus says, “therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. 23 for life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.”  Then in verse 27, “look how the wildflowers grow! They don't work hard to make their clothes. But I tell you, Solomon, with all his wealth, wasn't as well dressed as one of these flowers.”

Do children worry? … yes… and sometimes they have reason to worry.  But ideally “childlike” means worry-free.  We all have a romantic image, of the lazy crazy days of childhood; lying in the clover watching the clouds float by and hoping mom has lemonade ready when you go in the house. Sadly, that may be a little unrealistic for most kids. But I think that is the image depicted by the girls. 

Look at the girls again. See how the bigger one is on her toes, her dress flowing back, and the smaller one has a flow to her dress as well. To me that says movement.  To me, they are dancing.  Dancing for Jesus. See how they are reaching up to him with the flowers. Maybe they are dancing in with an offering of the prettiest flowers they could find. Like taking mom a bouquet of dandelions and joyfully saying, “Mommy see what I picked for you?”  They don’t have a worry in the world, do they? They are the image of the carefree childhood.

Jesus is not trying to oversimplify life in Luke. He is saying do not worry about the things you cannot change. He is saying give up our sad, grumpy, serious, grown up faces. We are to replace our grownup serious face, with more smiles, giggles, and laughter. In other words, Jesus says we should trust, as children trust. 

Put an adult and a child on a roof of a burning building.  Have some good strong firemen stand on the ground telling the adult “trust me. just jump,” and the adult will have a hard time trusting. Put the child’s father on the ground and tell her, “jump, I’ll catch you.” They will trust completely and jump willingly.

Jesus is saying be more like a little child and trust me… “take a leap of faith and jump into my arms.”  Faith is the first step into in discipleship. We spend the rest of our Christian lives learning to trust less in ourselves and trust more in Jesus. Those who successfully come to trust in Jesus with all their hearts as a child trusts a loving parent will be better children of the kingdom.

 Finally, look at the little girl sitting at Jesus feet just listening, soaking it all in.  Just waiting for Jesus to speak. Waiting to serve him. She makes me think of Mary washing Jesus feet, or the other Mary sitting with Jesus while Martha cooked the meal.  The girl is looking up at Jesus waiting for instructions.

I don’t say this to be mean, but Children are accustomed to being told when to eat, sleep, where to go and how to act.  It is part of being a kid. We’ve all been there, and as kids, we know we don’t have much power and authority. How could we? As children we are surrounded by adults; people who are taller, and bigger, and stronger than we are. Those people lovingly guide our lives.

Many adults, on the other hand, have issues with control. Some of us more than others.  How many of us could willingly just sit and wait on Jesus? Or would we have to get up to get sandwiches or sunscreen, or make sure the kids don’t get in poison ivy, or doing your taxes, or mowing the lawn, or doing the dishes, or …or… or… a thousand other things. We desperately want to keep up the illusion of control with our To-do lists, calendars, “managing” life.

We want to be in charge, so “Obeying” is just not part our vocabulary.  We do not like to submit our will to anyone. Children don’t always like to obey either. 

Disciples who are willing to sit at Jesus feet and serve… disciples who are willing to obey the call of Jesus…disciples who say, “Here I am Lord, send me” are better children of the kingdom. 

Children of the kingdom doing as Jesus does, walking as Jesus walks, loving as Jesus loves, forgiving as Jesus forgives it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.

Children of the kingdom joyfully trusting in Christ in all things big and small it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.

Children of the kingdom serving Jesus and the willingly and passionately… it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.

You know many children can’t wait to grow up. But Jesus said, “slow down, have it backwards. The adults should be wanting to be like children because that is the kingdom attitude.  He means, “look at the children, learn from them, and try to become like them.” Because it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.

Some people say children are the future of the church…I would say they are the “today” of the church.  But whether there is a future for the church depends on how well we learn from our children today because it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs.