Saturday, May 25, 2019

Building blocks of Christian families #4: Constant Communication


The story is told that
J. Edgar Hoover, former director of the FBI, had a rule saying that all FBI memoranda were required to be shorter than two and one-half typed pages and with wide margins all around. Hoover himself once received a memo that violated this prescribed length and format.
The writer had managed to cram more words into his memo by reducing the size of the margins. Hoover responded by writing on the memo, “Watch the borders!”
When Hoover’s subordinates saw the note, they assigned hundreds of special agents to guard our national borders with Mexico and Canada.
 There is debate about whether that is a true story or not , but isn’t communication like that?  Brinkley's Law is: "If there is any way it can be misunderstood--by someone, somewhere, sometime--it will be misunderstood." The words we say may be technically correct. If no one understands us, however, it is like playing catch by ourselves… not very much fun and completely exhausting.

Then there is the other side of the coin.
Franklin Roosevelt hated long receiving lines at the White House. He was convinced that no one really paid any attention to what was said.
 One day, he decided to prove his point.  The story goes, as each person passed down the line and shook his hand, he murmured, "I murdered my grandmother this morning." The guests responded with phrases like, "Marvelous! Keep up the good work. We are proud of you. God bless you, sir." It was not till the end of the line, while greeting the ambassador from Bolivia, that his words were actually heard. Without hesitation the ambassador leaned over and whispered, "I'm sure she had it coming."
If not speaking clearly is like playing catch by ourselves, Then not listening is like playing hide and seek by ourselves. It is no fun to hide if there isn’t someone to come looking for us.

In pre-marital preparation, I tell couples there is only one secret to a good marriage. Everything else is details.  That secret is good communications.  The same is true for families; parents and children, adult children and aging parents, partners, step parents everyone you can imagine in your family must communicate well to be a healthy family. One of the building blocks to Christian families is constant communication.
 In this series, I have said that families must be founded on faith, make time for each other, and families must live love.  Today I want to add the building block of constant communication. I might say this every week, but this might be one of the most important building blocks I share with you.
The Bible doesn’t say anything about communications does it? Actually, it does. There are dozens of passages in proverbs, plenty of good stories, Jesus told some stories, the New Testament is filled with letters which are in themselves communication from pastor to church.  Today I want to use one of the most straightforward passage of all.  James 1:19 says “You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” That is about as clear as it gets but let me help you apply it.

James starts out, “You must understand this, my beloved.” That’s his way of saying, “Listen to this and listen good.”  We don’t know specifically who his audience is. It says, “The 12 tribes of the dispersion.” That would be all Christians everywhere.  James, however, spends a lot of time talking about words, and gossip, and evil speaking, and lying that sound like they are directed right at us. I suspect that he had some first-hand experience with some of this.  So “listen up and listen good.”

 He continues, “let everyone be quick to listen.”
Several years ago, there was a survey that revealed that only 4.1% of the teenage girls in America feel they could to go their father to talk about a serious problem. USA Today followed up with an eye-opening study asking teens where they go for help in a crisis. The most popular choice was music, the second choice was peers, and the third was TV. Amazing as it may sound, moms were down the list at number thirty-one, and dads were forty- eighth. 
Why? In part because parents are slow to listen. Maybe we are just trying to do too many things.
When it comes to listening, multitasking is a myth. You can think about four times faster than a person usually talks, so take inventory right now.  What are you thinking about? Are you thinking about what I am saying or is your mind on … what you will have for lunch, or what a nice day it is? When you are listening to someone do you find yourself planning what you will say in response even before they finish the whole story?
Listening is complicated, and many things can get in our way.  James answer is be quick to listen, but that does not mean listen quickly. In order to be quick to listen we have to slow down.
The respected pastor and writer Charles Swindoll tells this story on himself in his book STRESS FRACTURES.
"Things around our home started reflecting the pattern of my hurry-up lifestyle. It was becoming unbearable.
"I distinctly remember after supper one evening, the words of our younger daughter, Colleen. She wanted to tell me something important that had happened to her at school that day. She began hurriedly, 'Daddy, I wanna tell you somethin' and I'll tell you really fast.'
"Suddenly realizing her frustration, I answered, 'Honey, you can tell me -- and you don't have to tell me really fast. Say it slowly." "I'll never forget her answer: 'Then listen slowly daddy.'"
Be quick to listen but listen slowly with every bit of attention you have. Listen to your wife, or sister, or parent.  And for heaven’s sake listen to your children and grandchildren.  The thing about children is they always tell the truth… we just have to figure out what it means. Slow down and listen to the youngins as they tell their story and you just might change their lives.
A psychologist did a series of interviews with young women who found themselves involved in prostitution. He asked if there was anything that they could think of that might have turned their life a different direction.  Almost unanimously tears welled up and they said, “If someone had cared enough to listen my life might be different.”
The power of being quick to listen slowly.
There are three steps to listening, and you probably don’t need to take notes on this…
1. Listen to the other person's story.
2. Listen to the other person's full story.
3. Listen to the other person's full story first. 
You know like in court.  Listen to their story, the whole story and nothing but their story.

 James goes on after saying, “be quick to listen,” to say, “be slow to speak.”
One of my favorite sayings that has saved me more than once is, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and erase all doubt.” 
Proverbs 18:28 is similar, “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and is thought discerning if he holds his tongue.” James says, “be slow to speak.”
Listen first… then be slow to speak… our speech should be thoughtful.
First Peter (3:8-10) has some advice about communication, “Finally, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, affectionate, compassionate, and humble. Do not return evil for evil or insult for insult, but instead bless others because you were called to inherit a blessing. For the one who wants to love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from uttering deceit.” 
HARMONIOUS. Let me get an official opinion here… should a chord have just one note? No but has one sound doesn’t it? Likewise, we don’t all have to sing the same song. We don’t have to all think exactly alike. But when you meet someone with a different opinion, try to make a beautiful sound when you put your idea next to the other person’s idea.  Too often it seems like the goal today is for our speech to sound like fingernails on a chalk board to anyone who disagrees. No don’t be like that. Strive for harmony.
SYMPATHETIC. “having like feelings.” Communication is not just words.  It is feelings. Listen for the feelings and remember when you felt that way.
  Part of being part of community is being able to put ourselves in the shoes of a brother or sister.   When I have had to deliver bad news to folks, I usually try to ask myself “how would I want to hear it” and “How would it make me feel if I heard those words?”
Words are powerful. We have the choice of chucking a truth bomb into someone’s life, or taking their hand, considering their feelings and walking together into the truth.  Let your words be harmonious and sympathetic.
AFFECTIONATE, COMPASSIONATE, AND HUMBLE - I lump these together not because they are exactly the same, but because we all know the way we are to treat one another. Do it.
Affectionate, compassionate, and humble… think loving caring and respectful.  The same things we have been talking about through this whole series. We all know we are supposed to love our neighbors. How about loving our partners, parents, girlfriends or boyfriends, sisters, brothers, uncles, aunts, grandparents and everyone else in family like relationships. They are our neighbors too.  
Think before you speak, and then think again, and think one more time asking yourself if this is loving, caring and respectful.  So, we might say James tells us to be slow to speak too quickly.

 Finally, James adds be slow to anger.  We live in an angry culture. Sometimes anger is justified but we must be slow to anger. Be slow to be offended. Be slow to make judgments. Don’t go into a conversation with your boiler all stoked up. Go back to being quick to listen slowly… Slow to speak to quickly… And it will help mitigate anger.

Constant communication is he building block that will get you through almost anything.  Professor Hans Jurgens performed a study of German couples and determined that after 2 years the amount of communications between couples was half of what it was in their first year. By year 6 it was less than half of that, and by year 8 he said most couples have run out of things to say and are in a state of “almost total speechlessness."    That is almost unbelievable to me, but The American Sociological Review, interviewed working women and discovered that they talk with their husbands an average of 12 minutes each day. 
Let your family be the exception. Talk with your family… listen to each other’s stories, the whole story and nothing but the story. And then when you talk… talk to each other harmoniously, sympathetically, lovingly, with care and respect.

There is so much that could be said about communication. But let me give you some homework this week.

 It is pretty simple. Ask someone in your family a leading question. What did you do today? What do you think about this? List 20 things that you have today that I didn’t have when I was a kid. Ask open ended question and then just see how long you can listen. Maybe you have to ask another question to keep it going, or ask for clarification, but see how long you can just listen.
Because being heard… really heard can change your family … or even a person’s life.

Saturday, May 11, 2019

Building Blocks of Christian families #3 love- Mother’s Day and graduation day 5/12/19


Building Blocks of Christian families
#3 love- Mother’s Day and graduation day
5/12/19
How many of you have ever played the conversation game… “WOULD YOU RATHER?” Let’s play a couple of rounds.
 Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20 minutes early?
Would you rather lose all your money and valuables or all of the pictures you have ever taken?
Would you rather be famous when you are alive and forgotten when you die or unknown when you are alive but famous after you die?
Would you rather go to jail for 4 years for something you didn’t do or get away with something horrible you did but always live in fear of being caught?
I ask you these “would you rather” questions today because our scripture today lends itself to asking those kinds of questions about the nature of true love as we work our way through the first three verses of 1 Corinthians 13.

 This is the third message in the series of sermons I call “Building blocks of Christian Families.” It is a very practical series aimed at families of all kinds. The note sheet in the bulletin tells you what we have talked about so far and you can find the sermons on the web site in either video or written form. 
I saved “Living Love” for Mother’s Day and graduate recognition Sunday. For many people mother love is the first and strongest love they ever know. What I am saying, however, applies to mothers, fathers, grandparents, adopted families, step families, blended families, foster families, and any family relationship you might have. I also understand that not everyone has a mother in their life, and not all mothers are the same. I ask you to be very generous in applying what I am saying today to the family you love regardless of its configuration or the specific relationships. Whenever I name a family role, please pull out your google translators and translate what I am saying to whatever you call the people closest to you.

Starting with the graduates. First, congratulations. You have worked hard, and a lot of people are proud of you. You should be proud of you. But let’s take a moment to chat about families. Did any of you have perfect families? Maybe you think your parents were too strict, or they played favorites among your brothers and sisters and you lost, or your siblings drove you nuts.
Let me tell you, almost all families have those stresses and strains to some greater or lesser degree That doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Far from it.
In fact you are here today in large part because someone loved you enough to guide you, and help you, and discipline you, and force you to go to school on days when you didn’t want to go, and hold your hand when you received a shot, and set boundaries for you, and on a very fundamental level feed, clothe and make sure you had a place to live. Those are all acts of family love. You probably wouldn’t be here today without that.
It might be hard to see right now, but someday you will likely be very grateful for both the unconditional love and the important lessons your parents have shown you.

 So, let’s learn about love as we play the “would you rather” game.
WOULD YOU RATHER spend your life with
someone who is all powerful
or someone who loves you?
Paul writes “If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” The question is someone who can do amazing things or someone who loves you unconditionally.
Since this comes right upon the heels of chapter 12 which is about all the gifts of the spirit, Paul may have been talking specifically about the spiritual gift of speaking in tongues. One can argue, however, that the hymn to love in chapter 13 stands very well on its own. If we take 13:1 for what it says by itself, Paul is saying NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.
If I was the most amazing healer… if I could control the weather… if I figured out a way to end wars and hunger… if I could climb the highest mountains… and swim across the ocean, that might be amazing… but if I don’t have love I am nothing.
The inverse is also true, don’t worry if you can’t do any of those amazing things. Love is amazing all by itself.
 When Amber was 4 she had heart surgery in which they had to put her on a bypass machine and stop her heart. If leaping tall buildings would have kept her out of the operating room, I would have tried. If walking on hot coals would have prevented the pain of recovery, I would have tried it. But there was nothing… absolutely nothing I could do as they wheeled her off to the surgical sweet gripping her favorite stuffed animal, a white scotty dog, with all her strength.
Far from being all-powerful. There was nothing we could do. We were helpless. Absolutely helpless. All I could do is love and trust that would be enough.
Maybe you have an addict in your family. A parent or uncle, or spouse, or maybe one of your children. The first step in a 12-step recovery is ADMITTING THAT YOU ARE POWERLESS OVER THE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS. Powerless. Admitting that you can’t DO anything. Those who love addicts have to come face to face, perhaps after years of enabling the addictive behavior, they have to come face to face with the ugly reality that they can do nothing to fix the addition for someone else.
Far from being all-powerful. We are helpless. Absolutely helpless. All we can do is love.
and trust that will be enough.
WOULD YOU RATHER spend your life with
someone who is all powerful
or someone who loves you?
Definitely someone who loves me because NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.


The next question is
would you rather have someone who knows all the answers or
someone to love you.
In verse 2, Paul writes, “And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”
Paul is saying, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.
Albert Einstein might be the man who came closest to understanding all things… but apparently, he was awful with his family. Although some say they have evidence otherwise, it is generally believed that he was a bad father and failed to take responsibility for his children. The story goes that “When he wanted a divorce from his first wife, Einstein gave her the ultimatum that, if she wanted to remain with him and not grant him a divorce, then he expected her to serve him three meals a day in his room but not expect any intimacy in return.”
Understanding all things, even reading all the child psychology and parenting books in the world means nothing if you don’t know how to love.
 Would you rather have someone who knows all the answers or
someone to love you.
I say love. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.

Finally, Paul writes, “If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” So  would you rather
live with someone who can give you anything you want, or
someone who loves you.
Don’t raise your hands, but I’ll bet there are kids here or you have kids in your family who seem to have every toy in the world. Perhaps they don’t play with them, but they line the shelves of their room as if it was a toy store.
Sometimes grandma is just a generous person, but more often someone… the divorced parents, the absent grandparent, the favorite aunt and her wife, someone is trying to make up for not being there. That may not be your situation. But if you feel like you must give your kids every single newest toy in the world… consider the money might be better spent buying an ice cream cone and taking a long walk at swan lake while you find out what they worry about. Giving them that time would show more love than another box from Amazon.
So, would you rather
 live with someone who can give you anything you want, or
someone who loves you.
I don’t know about you, I’ll take someone who loves me. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU GIVE, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.

 Listen to these three verses together again and see if you hear them differently. If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Are we anything without love? No.
We don’t need a superpower. We don’t need to be able to do anything. We don’t have to know everything. We don’t have to give them everything. We have the ultimate superpower of love. Living in love is the third building block of Christian families.

The superpower of Love is what causes a father to fall in love the first time he holds his tiny, wrinkly, self-centered, noisy, and sometimes smelly daughter.
The superpower of Love is what keeps moms up night after night with a sick child.
The superpower of love is what tears at a child’s hearts when grandma dies.
The superpower of love is what makes it possible to live with an addict when they relapse over and over and over again.
The superpower of love is stronger than harsh words.
The superpower of love is stronger than broken curfews.
The superpower of love is faster than our normal reactions as we snag the hand of the child just about to step into the busy street without looking.
The superpower of love is what holds families together when one of the kids brings home a same sex partner.
The superpower of love is perhaps the most important building block for your family.

So, here’s how to use the superpower.
I had a parishioner in Reinbeck who was a much beloved teacher. He had heart surgery and afterwards a young lady came in and said, “Do you remember me?” He did. He had exceptionally sharp mind and remembered that she was a student from a few years ago. She said I just wanted you to know that I held your heart in my hands.
Les told me because it was such a profound moment of realizing how we are interconnected. Let me tell you. You are responsible for holding he heart of each person in your family right in the palm of your hands.
When your graduate gets a smart mouth and says, “I am 18 I can do as I like.” Hold your hand out and imagine his heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.
When your step dad treats his own children just a little better than he treats you and your brother. Hold your hand out and imagine your step dad’s heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.
When your 17-year-old daughter comes to tell you that she is pregnant. Hold your hand out and imagine her heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.
When your sibling makes crazy demands when you are trying to clean out the house after your mother’s death. Hold your hand out and imagine his or her heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.
When your spouse starts with dementia and says mean things… hold out your hand and imagine their heart right there in your palm and then respond in love.

Hold one another’s hearts gently… and let love be a foundation for your family.



Saturday, May 4, 2019

Building blocks for Christian families: faithfulness First UMC Carroll, 5/5/19



Building blocks for Christian families: faithfulness
First UMC Carroll, 5/5/19

We’ll start with an easy question today. What is the purpose of your life? Really, why are you here?
That might seem like an impossible question, but I promise it is not.
Many times, there are assembly instructions or a user’s guide with a product we buy. It tells us how to put the parts together and what to do with it. Life does not come with assembly instructions or a user’s guide… or does it?
From a biological perspective, we are here to ensure the continuation of our line of DNA. But our life is not like that of a mayfly which is born, reproduces and in 24 hours is dead. There is more to us than that.
From an economic perspective, we are here to produce and consume goods and services. But we are more than our net worth which is the amount we produce minus the amount we consume.
From a political perspective, what do they call us? “Taxpayers.” That is exactly what we are. The sole means of support for government operations and programs. Except for every election cycle when we become “voters or constituents.”
From the perspective of a virus, like the one that got a hold of me this week, our purpose is to be a nice warm place to live for a few days until our bodies figure out how to fight them off. Come to think of it, we could look at our children the same way. We are a source of food, clothing, and housing until they are ready to leave and be a “host” for their own children.
But we are more than any of those things. We are more than all those things added together.

 The Levite, or Lawyer, in today’s scripture is asking essentially this same question trying to trick Jesus into saying something scandalous. He asks, “What must I do to inherit eternal life?” In other words, “Why are we here?”
As a good Rabbi should, Jesus asked him a question back, “What does the law say?” Remember this guy was a lawyer. He knew the law inside and out. If there was any escape clause, or if there were any exceptions, he would know.
Then he recites part of the Shema from Deuteronomy 6, which we also read today. The Shema is considered by some Jews to be the most important prayer in all of Judaism. It is the centerpiece of morning and evening prayers. The first verse is recited with a hand shielding the eyes.
 She-ma yisrael, adonai eloheinu, adonai echad
Hear O’ Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One
He doesn’t say that part to Jesus.
What he does say, comes from Dt. 6:5 “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind”
 Then he adds on a passage from Leviticus 19:18 In total it says, “You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against any of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.” The Lawyer, of course just said: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Jesus said, “Is that your final answer?”
The lawyer said, “Final answer” and after a pregnant pause Jesus said, “Ding, ding, ding, you’re right, do that and you will win the grand prize of eternal life!”

I’m joking, but I do believe this is one of those final round questions that make the difference between going home a winner or going home empty-handed.
The purpose of human life then is to do two things” Love God and Love Neighbor.”
That kind of boils down what we have learned in Faith Exploration this year doesn’t it?
When you are confirmed you are signing up for a life guided by these two principles love God and Love Neighbor. If you boil down the confirmation vows, you get the same answer the lawyer gave. “Love God and love neighbor.” These three confirmands have all told me that they are ready to do that, right?

Confirmation should also remind us that there have been a lot of people involved in bringing these young people to this moment. Let’s try something.
             If you have been a teacher, helper, snack person, game person, food server, craft teacher, youth leader, youth helper, served dinner to the youth or in any way been part of the ministry this church has provided to these youth please stand up.
             If you remember when they were born or first started coming here, or have encouraged them or their parents, or supported them by going to games, or concerts or, Christmas programs, or youth dinners, or in some other way supported them or encouraged them please stand up.
             Finally, if you have supported any of the ministries that bring them here today, including mini Methodists, UM Kids, Sunday school, youth, VBS, confirmation (which includes if you have helped pay the salary for the staff people who have helped like Jason, Suzi, Sherri, and me) or if you are here to support them today as they are confirmed, please stand up. Look around confirmands. They say it takes a village… no… it takes a church… a church dedicated to loving God and loving you to get you to this moment of confirmation.
OK Everyone but the family sit down.
You have played a special role in helping these young people get to this confirmation today. I can’t list for sure everything you have done that brings them to this time, but I know one thing. They come to profess their faith today promising to love God and love neighbor. And that didn’t come from an egg hatched last night. They don’t catch that by kissing the wrong girl or boy. They don’t pick it up off the streets. They don’t step on it in the yard and track it into their lives. No. somehow, on purpose or not, they have come to realize that the most important thing is to love God and love neighbor. Statistics tell me that most likely place they heard that message over and over and over is at home from you. Youth who grow up in non-Christian homes are pretty unlikely to be standing up front here today. I want to say thank you, and well done good and faithful servants.
You may be seated.

 However, let me qualify that… well done so far… because your job is not done. Faith building is a life long process that does not stop at confirmation. In fact, forming faithfulness in the family is one of the building blocks for Christian families.
This confirmation Sunday is a great reminder that Christian families must have a strong foundation of faithfulness. I am choosing to use “faithfulness” instead of “faith” because as I was writing this week, I did not want to leave any room for thinking that I am talking about an intellectual belief or an emotional choice. Faithfulness is not intellectual or emotional… faithfulness is a whole way of being. Faithfulness is making the love of God and love of neighbor central to your life.

Our First reading from Deut. 6 explains the way of life that is founded on faithfulness.
Although it is talking about the first half, “Love God” I think it is safe to apply this to love neighbor too. Deuteronomy 6 says,
               “Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart.” In other words, get them inside of your and make them part of who you are.
               “Recite them to your children” and your parents, and your brothers and sisters, and your roommate, and your partner, and your girlfriend/ boyfriend and everyone else. Share them with your family and make them the core value of your family.
 I recall a family where it was the 30 something-year-old single uncle who brought the whole family to church. He started coming, brought the nieces and nephews to VBS, then the Moms and dads (his brothers and sisters) and eventually his mom and they all ended being baptized. It doesn’t’ matter what kind of family you have, tell and teach other love God and love neighbor.
               “Talk about them when you are at home and when you are away.” Faithfulness travels well at home or on the road, we live and teach love God and love neighbor. Anywhere and everywhere.
               “When you lie down and when you rise.” Any time of the day of the year, it is not just Vacation Bible School, or Christmas or Easter, faithfulness is all day every day, any time way of living.
               “Bind them as a sign on your hand.” Your hands are your actions… act as though you love God and love others. It is in your actions.
               “Fix them as an emblem on your forehead.” Some Jews took this literally and tied phylacteries around their foreheads like sweatbands with the Shema inside. But I prefer to say let your thoughts be controlled by the principles of Love God and love neighbor.
               “Write them on the doorposts of your house.” This is where the tradition of the mezuzah starts. You may have seen homes where there is a little brass or ceramic vial on the door frame? That also contains the Shema. But I think the point is whether the family is at home or away, what should guide their thoughts and actions? “Love God and love neighbor”
               Finally, “on your gates”. The gates are the passage by which all the guests come and go. So, NO matter who you meet, what kind of person they are, what nationality, color, sexual orientation, whether they are a believer or not… you treat them by the principle love God and love neighbor.

 What is the main purpose of human life? Love God and love neighbor.
The family is the place where that starts and where we first practice. What is the primary value of your family? Things, money prestige, power, Being the Joneses to whom everyone else tries to keep up. Being the athletic family, the beautiful family, the busy family (strangely enough I think busy has become something people strive for), or are you known as the family who loves God and each other.
 Grandparents, do you know how many people I have talked to who credit their start in the faith to their grandparents? You make a difference. Help someone to love God and neighbor.
                Single folks, do you know how closely you are being watched by your nieces and nephews? I had a single uncle for a while… and we thought he was “the coolest.” You make a difference. Help someone to love God and neighbor.
Single parents, you have it hard. You might be the only example your kids have, but you don’t have to be… let them learn to love God and neighbor from your siblings, friends, babysitters and the church! You have a huge responsibility. You make a difference. Help your kids to love God and neighbor.
NO matter what your family configuration. No matter who you are you can influence someone. You make a difference. Help your family to love God and neighbor.

 I am not talking about anything difficult.
             Make worship and church activities important. If they are important to you, they’ll be important to them.
             Support the young folks in your family by attending programs, encouraging mission trips, and being there every step of the way.
             Treat one another and others… yes, I begrudgingly say telemarketers too… treat others with respect and love.
             Finally, find ways to show special love to some folks. Take toys to the hospital. Donate to the Christmas toy drive. Give to the food pantry. Rake the yard of an elderly neighbor. Show compassion to the poor and outcast. It is not that complicated.

 I learned the hard way that it makes a difference. When I left the ministry, I became just a little more frequent than a C&E Christian. Christmas and Easter. I still remember the day Robyn came to tell me that Richie decided he didn’t have to go because I didn’t go. If I didn’t love God neither would my son. I went back to church. I made a difference to my kids. I helped my family to learn to love God and neighbor.
You can too. Help your family to love God and neighbor by making faithfulness the second building block of your family.