When the world turns upside down- when our thinking turns upside down. January 24

 I remember the first time I was aware of mental illness. I was working for the MeToo grocery store and there was a woman who frequently came in to shop.  Except she didn’t really shop much.  She mostly talked to herself and wandered the aisles.  The assistant manager told us to keep an eye on her because she might steal something.  

I remember wondering, what was wrong with her.  In retrospect, I suspect she had a mental illness of some kind that caused delusions or hallucinations.  

But I also remember the probably unfounded suspicion that she would steal, 

and  I remember how I went out of my way to avoid meeting her in the aisle. 

That memory is a living parable of the way we treat people with a mental illness. I believe I have outgrown that, but we are still often treated with suspicion and fear.  People use stories like Mark Becker’s murder of Coach Thomas to reinforce their prejudice. While it is certainly a terrible story, it is also very unusual.

Can I be honest?

many of us who have a mental illness are also cautious and afraid.

We are cautious because our illness reminds us that we are not completely in control of ourselves. (We forget that no one else is either)

We are afraid because we are often judged by those who do not really know us. We can tell that they are uncomfortable around us and sometimes even afraid to say words like depression, eating disorder,  schizophrenia, or suicide out loud. When I have talked about my depression in church… not just here…but anywhere,  you would be surprised by how many folks will come by and whisper, “Me too” and quickly slip out the door. 

Why is it that we consider those who live with cancer to be courageous heroes, but those who get out of bed and face depression every single day for 45 years might be called weak? Or crazy. Why isn’t the person living with an eating disorder considered a hero?  We would never tell a person with arthritis to pull themselves together, why do we think it is ok to tell someone with anxiety that they just have to pull it together and get to work or school?

That is half of what I mean when I talk about “upside-down thinking.” It is awful and hurtful, and completely upside down from the command to love neighbor. It is completely opposite of grace.

The other half of upside-down thinking is like mental illness. 

Nami says  that “Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others, and daily functioning.”  Next week we will talk about feelings and mood. 

This week let’s reflect on how a mental illness can change the thought process of even the strongest person.  To one degree or another,  any mental illness can affect our thinking, but I am thinking primarily, however, of major depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Speaking from my knowledge of depression there is kind of a chicken and egg relationship between our thoughts and feelings.  The thought that I am unlovable, for instance, creates the feeling that I am unlovable, which validates the thought so it must be true right?  The truth may be the original  thought was a lie created by our depression. I have spent 30 years practicing cognitive behavioral therapy trying to understand the relationship between my thoughts and feelings.

Pushing beyond depression and bipolar disorder. I am no expert.  I have read and talked to people, so my best understanding of eating disorders is that a thought appears. Maybe it is from another mental illness, or not. But that thought which might be I am unlovable because I am fat, actually changes the perception of what a person sees in the mirror.  The distorted perception reinforces the thought that they are fat, and the illness grows from there. 

If I understand Schizophrenia just a little one way to look at it is the brain sells the lie to itself by reinforcing it with delusional voices or other thoughts. 

If you aren’t sure what that  Obsessive Compulsive disorder is, remember the TV show MONK? He was kind of a cartoon version of OCD. In OCD the thought is kind  magical. Often it is something like I have to do this or something bad will happen.  I have to wash three times. I have to check the lock 10 times; I have to put everything exactly in its place or something bad will happen.  When life is not controllable, as it often is not,  self-judgment starts to slip in, and it only gets worse from there. .  

Now understand that each of those is an overgeneralization but you see where I am going. Sometimes a mental illness will attack our thinking and perceptions to drag us down, down, down.

Until we reach the bottom of the pit described in Psalm 77 

I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
    my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal.
When friends said, “Everything will turn out all right,”
    I didn’t believe a word they said.
I remember God—and shake my head.
    I bow my head—then wring my hands.
I’m awake all night—not a wink of sleep;
    I can’t even say what’s bothering me.
I go over the days one by one,
    I ponder the years gone by.
I strum my lute all through the night,
    wondering how to get my life together.

Does that sound familiar?  Sure, it does. If we are honest, we've all felt like that at least a little. Persons with a mental illness seem to have a hard time sorting out truth from the lies our brains tell and an even harder time bouncing back from  these dark thoughts. Soon these upside-down thoughts become reality to us.  

But Isaiah tells us  an alternative truth.

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?.

The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
    and strengthens the powerless.
30 Even youths will faint and be weary,
    and the young will fall exhausted;
31 but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
    they shall walk and not faint

No matter how weak we feel God’s acceptance  is stronger than our weakness. 

God’s acceptance  this stronger than our exhaustion. 

God's acceptance is greater than any mental illness. 

No matter what your brain says you are accepted By God.  

No matter what your depression says you are accepted by God.

No matter what your Brain may say about your body you are accepted by God. 

No matter what the voices in your head may say, no matter how convincing the voices  may be, you are accepted by God. 

No matter how many times you have to do the same thing again and again you are accepted by God. 

one of the hardest things for any of us to believe is that we are accepted by God. When our thinking is turned upside down and our brains  may tell us that we are unlovable, unacceptable, unworthy, unattractive, unable, unwell, Unsuccessful, unliked, and unimportant, but… what is the but? But nonetheless, you are accepted by God. You are accepted by God . You are accepted by God. You are accepted by God. Let me put that another way you are accepted by God. the hardest thing in the world and the most important thing in the world is to accept that we are acceptable to God.

No matter where we are on the scale from mental wellness  to mental illness.  One of the most difficult and most important things to know is that we are accepted by God. 

The need to be accepted extends to our relationship with others too. Those of you who are friends and supporters of a person with a mental illness thank you. Yours is a difficult job.   You are a hero. I want to lift up the 2nd “A” in companioning someone with a mental illness. 

The first A was asked to ask if everything's OK ask if something is wrong, ask if they are thinking of harming themselves , ask if you can help. 

The second A is accept. Accept what we say. Remember that our thinking may be turned upside down. But those upside-down thoughts are truth  as we experience it.  Neither arguing nor correcting us is likely to help.  Just accept it as our truth. 

But even more than accepting our illness, we need you to  accept and affirm us  as a brother or sister in Christ. Isn’t that the same thing you need from people around you to be accepted just as you are.  And it is the same thing we all need from God isn’t it.  To be reassured that God really accepts us as we are, illness, wellness, warts and all. You are accepted. I am accepted. Thanks be to God. 

When Life Turns Upside-Down... YOU ARE LOVED

1. For some reason, people seem to think that Christians have it all together. Especially pastors.

i. Some of those people are outside the church looking in sometimes judgmentally. 

ii. Others are the people who come week after week and should know better. Many people don’t talk about it openly because they are embarrassed that they DON’T have it all together. (And maybe they are under the false impression that the rest of us do.) 

b. After 58 years on the earth and 30+ years in the pulpit I can guarantee you one thing.  You never know what is happening behind closed doors and there isn’t a person in the church or out of the church that has it all together.

i. Bodies are broken and hurting

ii. Minds are confused and mistaken

iii. Relationships are strained if not outright destructive

iv. Hopes are crushed and dreams don’t come true some of the time. 

v. Add on top of that families dealing with abuse and dark secrets

vi. I guarantee you that if you think everyone else has it all together you could not be more wrong. 

c. In case you don’t know, just a little peak behind my curtain… 

i. I remember being depressed from the age of 13.  I vividly remember anxiety keeping me from things my friends enjoyed. I remember avoiding some of those things by working as many hours as the MeToo grocery store would give me. I have always had a dream that I could become invisible… I think it grew from a desire to disappear.

ii. Family and work pressures kept increasing and by the time I was diagnosed I had come very close to harming myself more than once. And 

iii. Almost 30 years ago I started the road to wholeness with medication and therapy. It has been a long road. I am still significantly broken and my life is definitely impacted by my struggles with a mental illness. But I refuse to let it define me.

iv. I have, therefore, dedicated myself to advocacy, teaching, encouraging a mental health ministry in the church, stigma breaking, and truth telling. I don’t say any of this to brag or generate sympathy.  I say it because it is the truth. And I want you to know that I understand that we all have varying degrees of a mental wellness and one of the worst things we can do is to act like a mental health is a taboo subject, something embarrassing, some kind of weakness or a sin.  A mental illness is just that an illness. 

d. Let’s just admit that language, as usual, is a problem. Perhaps even more so with a mental illness.  Do we call it a mental illness, mental unwellness, a brain illness, a chemical imbalance, bonkers, cuckoo?  

i. You see what I mean there are some terms that can be hurtful or stigmatizing. I refer to myself as crazy, but I know I shouldn’t. We can find other terms that hurt less.

ii. We also tend to name people by their illness. I am depressed… no actually I have depression. He is schizophrenic… no He has schizophrenia. It takes practice. But Check out this chart to get some ideas, You will find more detail posted in the FUMC FRIENDS group.

2. In addition to stigma breaking and some educational things like language, I want to specifically address spirituality or religion and a mental health in this series. I have searched and searched for my own self and I can’t find the kind of thing I am going to tell you in these 4 weeks. 

a. Lets lay the theological foundation on our belief that we are all created in the image of God as unique and wonderful children of God. 

i. Being created in God’s image, among other things, means that we are complex and multifaceted people. God created the physical part of us from the dust of the earth. God created the spiritual part of us by breathing the spirit into our lungs, God created us to be in relationship, God created us to be emotional, God created us to be loving, God created us as future aware and God aware beings. In other words there are many, many facets of our being… and every one of them is created by God. 

ii. God doesn’t ask for much in return.  Just that we offer all of that back to God in love.  Hear the commandment from Deuteronomy 6:4-9 

1. “Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might.” There are three parts here.

2. Love God with your  heart is to love God with our most interior organ. Hebrews called it the heart, we call it the mind Love God with your mind. 

4. In addition  we are to love God with our Soul. That is easy enough to understand. In Hebrew thought the soul or the spark of God in us and it had to do with our emotions and feelings because in that way we are unique from the animals, so we love God with our minds and emotions. 

5. Finally, it says love God with our might. The Hebrew word is best translated “entirely”. Here I think it is either a modifier saying we love God with our entire heart and entire mind.  Or it is a catch all phrase, meaning with our heart and mind and the entire rest of ourselves.                                                                                                                                                                                                          

iii. The reason I went through that so carefully is because it helps us to understand God’s love for us. God loves every part of our human being with the divine heart, and mind and every other holy part of God’s divine being. There is nothing that can keep us from God’s love. 

b. The theological principle, then, is that God created us as whole beings. And no matter what, God loves us as whole beings with God’s whole divine being.  And God asks that we love god and others the same way in return. 

i. We are to love God with our whole being. But we already established that we are mostly not whole… we are broken people. 

1. Our body is broken 

2. Our bodies are sick.  

3. Our emotions become confused,

4. Our hopes and dreams begin to fade

5. We are broken in every way but God still loves back in every way.  

ii. God is concerned about every part of us… God loves every part of us, including our mental wellbeing or lack of a mental wellbeing. 

1. God does not love us less because we have depression. 

2. God does not love you any less because you live with schizophrenia.  

3. God does not love you any less if you have to take medicine to level out some of your anger.  

4. God does not love you any less if you spend time in a mental health facility. 

5. God does not love you any less for any reason. Certainly not because you got the short end of the mental health gene in your family.

iii. God does not send 

1. a mental illness any more than God sends cancer.

2. God does not send depression any more than God sends sudden infant death syndrome.  

3. And God loves us no matter what even if we are broken and can’t love God back with our whole being, 

4. You are loved… 

a. you are loved even if you are broken. 

b. You are loved eve if you are ill

c. You ae loved even if you can’t love back

d. You are loved even if your mind or the voices in your head are trying to tell you otherwise. 

e. You are loved…. Period. End of story

3. The statistics are staggering

a. 1 in 5 adults experience a mental illness at some time. If that is you, you are loved.

b. Almost 1 out of 5 youth 6-17 years old experience a mental illness. If that is you, you are loved.

c. 1 out of 25 people experience  a serious mental illness, If that is you, you are loved.

d. 1 in 5 people experience anxiety in a given year… probably more this year, If that is you, you are loved.

e. 1 in 10 some experience depression. If that is you, you are loved.

f. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in every age group under 35 years old.  If you have considered harming yourself, you are loved. (please get help)

g. People are using alcohol to self medicate for anxiety and depression during the pandemic.  Alcohol sales ae up 14-25%. If that is you, you are loved.

h. There are many more people experiencing mental unwellness than most of us would imagine… but the bottom line is God still loves every one of these people, and God loves you.

4. If you are experiencing symptoms of any mental illness please seek help.  You can even start by talking to me.  I will try to guide you to the help you need.  The number one thing is there is no shame, no weakness and certainly no sin in having a mental illness,

a. The number one thing is. Do you know how much you are loved?  It is easy to forget especially those of us who live with depression.  I have a reminder for you. Please stop by the church and pick up a “I am loved” button. This will be our theme through this series, and I think it would make a great theme for our whole mental health ministry.  Pick up a button, and maybe even pick one up for a friend who is struggling with symptoms of a mental illness.  Just give it to them as a way of showing them love

5.  

SPEAKING TO ALL OF YOU BECAUSE whether you have ever experienced mental illness of not, if you know 5 people you probably know someone who is struggling right now. You have a friend who might be experiencing a mental health issue.

a. I am developing what I call the ABC’s of Mental Health Companioning. I created them to help us companion friends experiencing a mental illness.  We will take one each week. This week just the first A. ASK.  

b. You can talk about kids, cancer, careers, and cars; why do you think it is inappropriate or intrusive to ask about mental health.  A simple “How are you doing these days?”  or “you don’t act quite like yourself” or flat out “are you thinking about harming yourself” is certainly appropriate between friends. 

c. Not only is it appropriate… it is essential. 

i. Break the silence. 

ii. They may think no one cares. Show you care by asking.

iii. They may think that they can wear a mask and no one will notice.  Notice and ask… it will be a relief to them. 

iv. Just  ask and you will be letting someone know that they are loved. 

d. You can tell them that we are talking about ministry to folks like them at church. Can I tell you what I have learned?

e.  

What a great way for one child of God to let another child of God know they are loved.  No matter what.

AMEN

Reaching In Connecting to Eachother 1-10-2021 fumc Carroll Iowa

Mark Twain said, “Clothes make the man. Naked people 

have little or no influence on society.” Obviously, I am not one that pays a lot of attention to 

fashion trends. In fact, I think they are a little silly. But women have it much worse than men in 

the fashion department. I saw a story on the women’s styles for 2021 and if a person wanted to 

follow the crowd, one would have to purchase a whole new wardrobe every season. Frankly,

guys, we have it pretty easy. the tie gets wider… the tie gets skinnier and that’s about it. 

The good news is that the fashion for the well-dressed Christian doesn’t change. It 

hasn’t changed since Paul wrote Colossians in the second half of the 1st century AD.

In today’s passage Paul starts with a “Therefore” or a “So then” depending on your 

translation. When we see that we must back up the preceding verses to see what he is saying. In 

the early part of Chapter 3, Paul is preaching transformation. “If you have been raised with 

Christ, you have died to your old self and its sinful ways.” He says,

“you have stripped off the old self with its 

practices” He names the dirty rags of the old self as things like “anger, wrath, malice, 

slander, and abusive language.” 

However, neither Paul nor God wants us to run around naked. So, Paul 

continues “THEREFORE”… “THEREFORE.” Now that we have gotten rid of the old clothes, 

Paul is ready to dress us in the newest and best of faith fashion. He goes on to say, “You have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is 

being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator.” We are being 

fitted with a wardrobe suited for the chosen, holy, and beloved children of God. 

Maybe you aren’t sure you are chosen holy and beloved. Try this. 

Every day when you shower and the water is running over us, remember your 

baptism. Then remember God’s words at Jesus' baptism This is my beloved son. Say 3 

times very slowly and intentionally

“I am God’s beloved child.” “I am God’s beloved 

child.” “I am God’s beloved child.” If our ears were to hear that 3 times every day we 

might begin to feel like we are chosen, holy, and beloved. I have only been doing it for 5 

days now and I can tell the difference.

You are God’s chosen, holy, and beloved children who have given up your old 

ways. At least in principle, right. None of us is perfect. We all slip into a little anger or 

foul language, or greed on occasion. We still slip back into those old dirty rags that used 

to be our wardrobe. 

Paul, however, is saying, don’t do that! Those rags are not you anymore.

Fornication is not you anymore

Impurity is not you anymore

Evil passion is not you anymore

Evil desire is not you anymore

Greed (which is idolatry) is not you anymore The vestments of sin are not you anymore and, anyway, people get enough of 

that stuff on the news and at the local coffee shop. 

 We have seen enough hard-heartedness for a lifetime. We don’t want to 

be like that.

 We have all read enough vitriolic hatred on Facebook. We need a new 

dress because that one is worn out.

 We have seen enough ugly egomaniacal pride in politics and business. We 

must not put on that ugly tie.

 We have seen enough violence not only from war zones, but from 

DesMoines, Seattle, and Washington DC. We have seen enough killing on our TV’s,

movies, and video games. It is time to get rid of that old blood-spattered coat and put 

on something new. 

 We have seen enough ignorant intolerance, judgment, rumors, lies, 

rudeness, and selfishness to last a lifetime. It is time to dress in love. 

Just as Colossians 3 gives us an abridged list of old, dirty laundry. It also gives us 

a shopping list of the most stylish and trendy Christian chic available.

 Paul starts with “dress yourself with 

compassion.” Compassion by etymology means to “feel with.” And that’s is exactly what 

the stylish Christian will be wearing this winter the willingness and commitment to sit 

down (Either literally or figuratively) with another person to “feel with” the other person. 

The stylish Christian will care enough to stop talking and sit and listen and just feel pain, 

or anger, or joy with the friend. Dress in compassion.  The second style is an oldy but a goody. 

Kindness. You could say kindness grows out of compassion because compassion in the 

heart and kindness is an action that others can see. The Old Testament speaks of God’s

hesed- lovingkindness. Never giving up and always acting in loving grace. This year the 

stylish Christian Will be seen wearing a lot of kindness.

 Third, the classy disciple will accessorize just 

about any outfit with humility. Humility comes from the root word HUMUS which means 

earth. Human is another word that is in that same family. The sense is that to be 

humble is to realize that we are little more than dust. Humility is having a realistic view 

of one’s littleness and insignificance in the universe. Jesus Humbled Himself, Paul 

writes in Philippians 2 “Being made in human likeness.

8 And being found in appearance as a man,

 he humbled himself

by becoming obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

Christ humbled himself making himself like the earth creatures the ones we call human 

so we might be saved from our overinflated egos. Dress in humility 

 Of course, if we are going to accessorize with 

humility, we must throw in a little bit of color, don’t we? That’s where gentleness comes in. In a world that respects power and ignores the weak. In a world where more is always 

better; we need gentleness to remind us that sometimes less is better. Less squeezing, 

less pushing, less demanding. Less noise. Life is a rough and tumble game, but there is a 

time out to kiss a child’s booboo. Hold a loved one’s hand. Or speak a word of 

encouragement. Spice up your look with a bright splash of gentleness. 

 Finally, Paul says pull it all together with 

patience. That’s what makes the whole style work. Patience is being willing to wait. To 

wait on God, to wait on others, to wait for the right moment to do the right thing. It 

means being patient with those who wrong us. And being patient with ourselves even 

when we do not do the right thing. Put on patience. 

There you have it. We take compassion, kindness, and humility. Weave them 

over and under, under and over, over and under with gentleness, patience, forgiveness,

and love into the most beautiful, fabric you have ever seen. Perfect for every season, 

every situation, every day, it never goes out of style. The garments of the new creature 

are made from that rich material perfectly tailored to each one of us. 

It comes down to this. It is very practical. What kind of people do you want in 

your life? 

Do you want people who are compassionate, kind, humble, gentle, patient, 

forgiving, and loving? Or not. Do you want people who will bear with you in all 

circumstances or not?

I know it is hard to maintain relationships and build community when the church 

is scattered like it is now. Believe me, I know. But the community of the church is where people are trying to live in this fashion 

so to speak. It is not just theory… we are real people … imperfect people…doing our best 

to live into the fashion of the new creature I Christ. 

There is an old preacher story about a little girl who was afraid of the 

thunderstorm her dad who was a preacher reminded her that she's not alone Jesus is 

with her that she can go back to bed and trust that Jesus will take care of her. She 

thought for a little while and then responded daddy I know Jesus is with me, but I think 

tonight I need someone with skin.

We are Jesus in skin as we live into the new reality, into the new fashion of the 

new creation. 

We are God in skin when we treat one another with compassion. 

We are God in skin as we share with people who need help. 

We are God in skin as we support the elderly and those with mental illness.

Notice the church is not God in a brick building as some have thought. God’s 

church is bigger than that. 

I challenge you to be God in skin this week. Chose someone an old friend or 

new friend, someone in the church or not, someone like you or not, whether they ask for 

your love or not, find someone and wrap them in compassion, gentleness, humility, 

kindness, patience, forgiveness, and love. 

For that moment you are God in skin to them. Who knows, it might go further 

than a simple act of love… it might change their lives. 

It might change your life. 

Go be God in skin.