I remember the first time I was aware of mental illness. I was working for the MeToo grocery store and there was a woman who frequently came in to shop. Except she didn’t really shop much. She mostly talked to herself and wandered the aisles. The assistant manager told us to keep an eye on her because she might steal something.
I remember wondering, what was wrong with her. In retrospect, I suspect she had a mental illness of some kind that caused delusions or hallucinations.
But I also remember the probably unfounded suspicion that she would steal,
and I remember how I went out of my way to avoid meeting her in the aisle.
That memory is a living parable of the way we treat people with a mental illness. I believe I have outgrown that, but we are still often treated with suspicion and fear. People use stories like Mark Becker’s murder of Coach Thomas to reinforce their prejudice. While it is certainly a terrible story, it is also very unusual.
Can I be honest?
many of us who have a mental illness are also cautious and afraid.
We are cautious because our illness reminds us that we are not completely in control of ourselves. (We forget that no one else is either)
We are afraid because we are often judged by those who do not really know us. We can tell that they are uncomfortable around us and sometimes even afraid to say words like depression, eating disorder, schizophrenia, or suicide out loud. When I have talked about my depression in church… not just here…but anywhere, you would be surprised by how many folks will come by and whisper, “Me too” and quickly slip out the door.
Why is it that we consider those who live with cancer to be courageous heroes, but those who get out of bed and face depression every single day for 45 years might be called weak? Or crazy. Why isn’t the person living with an eating disorder considered a hero? We would never tell a person with arthritis to pull themselves together, why do we think it is ok to tell someone with anxiety that they just have to pull it together and get to work or school?
That is half of what I mean when I talk about “upside-down thinking.” It is awful and hurtful, and completely upside down from the command to love neighbor. It is completely opposite of grace.
The other half of upside-down thinking is like mental illness.
Nami says that “Mental illnesses are medical conditions that disrupt a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others, and daily functioning.” Next week we will talk about feelings and mood.
This week let’s reflect on how a mental illness can change the thought process of even the strongest person. To one degree or another, any mental illness can affect our thinking, but I am thinking primarily, however, of major depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Speaking from my knowledge of depression there is kind of a chicken and egg relationship between our thoughts and feelings. The thought that I am unlovable, for instance, creates the feeling that I am unlovable, which validates the thought so it must be true right? The truth may be the original thought was a lie created by our depression. I have spent 30 years practicing cognitive behavioral therapy trying to understand the relationship between my thoughts and feelings.
Pushing beyond depression and bipolar disorder. I am no expert. I have read and talked to people, so my best understanding of eating disorders is that a thought appears. Maybe it is from another mental illness, or not. But that thought which might be I am unlovable because I am fat, actually changes the perception of what a person sees in the mirror. The distorted perception reinforces the thought that they are fat, and the illness grows from there.
If I understand Schizophrenia just a little one way to look at it is the brain sells the lie to itself by reinforcing it with delusional voices or other thoughts.
If you aren’t sure what that Obsessive Compulsive disorder is, remember the TV show MONK? He was kind of a cartoon version of OCD. In OCD the thought is kind magical. Often it is something like I have to do this or something bad will happen. I have to wash three times. I have to check the lock 10 times; I have to put everything exactly in its place or something bad will happen. When life is not controllable, as it often is not, self-judgment starts to slip in, and it only gets worse from there. .
Now understand that each of those is an overgeneralization but you see where I am going. Sometimes a mental illness will attack our thinking and perceptions to drag us down, down, down.
Until we reach the bottom of the pit described in Psalm 77
I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal.
When friends said, “Everything will turn out all right,”
I didn’t believe a word they said.
I remember God—and shake my head.
I bow my head—then wring my hands.
I’m awake all night—not a wink of sleep;
I can’t even say what’s bothering me.
I go over the days one by one,
I ponder the years gone by.
I strum my lute all through the night,
wondering how to get my life together.
Does that sound familiar? Sure, it does. If we are honest, we've all felt like that at least a little. Persons with a mental illness seem to have a hard time sorting out truth from the lies our brains tell and an even harder time bouncing back from these dark thoughts. Soon these upside-down thoughts become reality to us.
But Isaiah tells us an alternative truth.
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?.
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and strengthens the powerless.
30 Even youths will faint and be weary,
and the young will fall exhausted;
31 but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint
No matter how weak we feel God’s acceptance is stronger than our weakness.
God’s acceptance this stronger than our exhaustion.
God's acceptance is greater than any mental illness.
No matter what your brain says you are accepted By God.
No matter what your depression says you are accepted by God.
No matter what your Brain may say about your body you are accepted by God.
No matter what the voices in your head may say, no matter how convincing the voices may be, you are accepted by God.
No matter how many times you have to do the same thing again and again you are accepted by God.
one of the hardest things for any of us to believe is that we are accepted by God. When our thinking is turned upside down and our brains may tell us that we are unlovable, unacceptable, unworthy, unattractive, unable, unwell, Unsuccessful, unliked, and unimportant, but… what is the but? But nonetheless, you are accepted by God. You are accepted by God . You are accepted by God. You are accepted by God. Let me put that another way you are accepted by God. the hardest thing in the world and the most important thing in the world is to accept that we are acceptable to God.
No matter where we are on the scale from mental wellness to mental illness. One of the most difficult and most important things to know is that we are accepted by God.
The need to be accepted extends to our relationship with others too. Those of you who are friends and supporters of a person with a mental illness thank you. Yours is a difficult job. You are a hero. I want to lift up the 2nd “A” in companioning someone with a mental illness.
The first A was asked to ask if everything's OK ask if something is wrong, ask if they are thinking of harming themselves , ask if you can help.
The second A is accept. Accept what we say. Remember that our thinking may be turned upside down. But those upside-down thoughts are truth as we experience it. Neither arguing nor correcting us is likely to help. Just accept it as our truth.
But even more than accepting our illness, we need you to accept and affirm us as a brother or sister in Christ. Isn’t that the same thing you need from people around you to be accepted just as you are. And it is the same thing we all need from God isn’t it. To be reassured that God really accepts us as we are, illness, wellness, warts and all. You are accepted. I am accepted. Thanks be to God.
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