24 hours that changed the world : 40 hours that changed our lives. March 27, 2016

24 hours that changed the world : 40 hours that changed our lives.

March 27, 2016

The events of that last day were just too terrible to describe. No matter how many times I see crucifixion, I’ll never get used to it. No one could. It was even worse to see the master beaten, abused, tortured, and crucified. I stood way back because none of the rest of the Sanhedrin knew that I, Joseph of Arimathea, was a follower of the Jesus.

Nicodemus introduced me to Jesus. At first, I mistook him for just another lunatic until Nicodemus introduced me to the new life that Jesus offered. Nick came to me in the middle of the night talking nonsense about “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.” He explained that Jesus told him that he needed be born anew by believing in him.

At first, I couldn’t even comprehend what he was saying.

·        Born anew?...

·        Not from our mother’s womb?...

·        But from above?...

·        Born of the Spirit?...

·        Really? …W

·        hat did it all mean?

Nicodemus and I made a trip back to Jesus the next night so I could meet him. I discovered that there was just something about him that I immediately felt God’s love from him and believed him. When I heard Jesus talking about a loving God, and he told me that God loved us so much that he gave his only son, I felt something stir inside of me… it turned out the stirring was the beginning of faith in him. I started to believe in him. I wanted to know that kind of God.

Up to that time, I thought God was mostly interested in law. My life was about trying to follow the law. So many laws! It was a full time job just knowing them, let alone keeping all 613 commandments. But I knew it was necessary in order to keep God’s favor.

I took every opportunity to hear Jesus. I tried to be inconspicuously on the edge of the crowd, or around the corner where I could hear without being seen. Every time I heard him, my heart was filled with love. His message that God loves me, and the only law I needed to keep was the law of love for God and neighbor, changed the way I felt about God. I was a different person on the inside. But I couldn’t tell my fellow Pharisees. The Sanhedrin considered Jesus to be dangerous, and a false prophet. I kept my new belief secret.

When Jesus appeared before the Sanhedrin, he didn’t look anything like he had. He was just a shadow of the teacher I had known. I wish I would have spoken up in his defense but I was afraid to. I was just too afraid.

So, I watched the terrible consequences of my silence.

·        I felt like every lash belonged to me because I didn’t speak up.

·         I felt like every drop of blood was mine because I didn’t speak up.

·         I felt every clang of the hammer as though the nail were going into my skin.

·         I gasped with every painful breath until he didn’t gasp again.

It was over. It seemed like a long time before I took another breath. It really was all over.

At least everyone thought it was over…. I did too.

But I could not leave him hanging there. Usually the bodies hung on the cross until the crows and vultures picked all the meat from the bones, but I could not stand the thought of that. I wanted to do something.

I went to Pilate and asked for Jesus’ body. To my surprise, Pilate granted me permission. I guess he still had some conscience. He said, “It is the least I can do for an innocent man.”

I couldn’t do the work by myself, so I found Nicodemus to help me. We took Jesus down from the cross. Nicodemus brought cloths and spices. The women wrapped him lovingly. It was a risk, but it was one last opportunity to show our love and generously serve our Lord. That was all that could be done, however, before the sunset and the Sabbath was upon us. So we put him in a tomb I had prepared for myself and rolled the stone in front of it.

It was over. In our minds there was no tomorrow. But tomorrow came and Saturday was no better than Friday. We could not wake up from a nightmare.  

·        Jesus was still dead. 

·        Evil won the victory.

·        Death was unconquerable.

·        And life was intolerable.

·        We were afraid

·        We were ashamed

·        We were hopeless

And we were cowering in the corner of a little room waiting for our end to come.

*       Someone said, “What was that he said about Jonah and being in the belly of the whale for three days?” the others would dismiss it.

*       Someone said, “Didn’t he say something about destroying the temple and raising it up in three days? You don’t suppose he was talking about his body do you?” To which someone would say “No that’s not what he meant.”

*       Someone else said, “I am sure he said that the son of man would suffer and die and be raised up in three days.” But to a bunch of hopeless, broken hearts, that just seemed absurd. Our hearts died with Jesus. Our lives were just dark cold tombs filled with lifeless bones of our shattered hopes.

The next morning I was awakened to the sound of women shouting. “He is risen. He is risen.” The women found the stone rolled back from the tomb door. Jesus’ body was gone. The women actually saw him and talked to him in the garden and they came back crying, “He is risen. He is risen.” With those words, our lives would never be the same. Suddenly the blackness of the last 40 hours began to lift.

Peter went running ahead, but I was a little older and it took me a few minutes longer. When I arrived, Peter was just standing… staring. Looking back and forth between the open door and the empty grave cloths. The unfathomable had happened. . Jesus had risen. Just as he said.

·        The impossible became a reality. . Jesus has risen.

·        The unbelievable was suddenly undeniable. Jesus has risen.

·        Darkness became light because Jesus has risen.

·        Fear was transformed into faith because Jesus has risen.

·        Doubt was transformed into promise because Jesus has risen.

·        Evil was overcome by love because Jesus has risen.

·        Death lost the war for our eternal souls because Jesus has risen.

·        Sin was defeated because Jesus has risen.

With those words, the blackness of the last 40 hours broke into shining splendor and none of us would ever be the same again.

You wonder how I can believe?

There are many things in this world that we don’t understand.

·        It is hard to understand the creation of the universe.

·        It is really hard to grasp the amazing inner workings of the human brain.

·        It is hard to describe the glory of the sunrise.

These things are mind boggling to me. But I ask myself,

·        If God can create the universe, is the resurrection too much for him?

·        If God can conceive of the human brain, is bring life from death too hard for him?

·        If God can bring us the sunrise each morning… is it so hard to believe that God could raise Christ from the dead? I say no!          When you think of it that way the resurrection of Christ doesn’t seem so crazy does it?

·        And if the resurrection is not so crazy, then it is only a small step to believing that Jesus was who he said he was, and did what he promised to do, and his death on the cross was what he said it was.

·        And if Jesus is who he said he was, and did what he promised to do, then it is not so crazy to say that, because of all of that, our lives will never be the same. It is not so crazy to say that those long dark 40 hours…and the bright flash of resurrection changed our lives forever.

For those of us who huddled in that dark corner for those long 40 hours, Christ’s resurrection was a guarantee of Christ’s victory over everything that tried to destroy him. Likewise, for us, Christ’s resurrection is a guarantee that Christ has won victory over everything that tries to destroy us; sin evil injustice, tragedy, pain, fear, shame, hopelessness, and even death.

If Christ’s resurrection is a guarantee that Jesus won the victory for us, it is also a guarantee that the resurrection of Jesus Christ won a victory for you over all that sucks the life out of you;

·        sin

·        evil

·        injustice,

·        tragedy,

·        pain,

·        fear,

·        shame,

·        hopelessness,

·        and even death.

Whatever you face, Christ’s resurrection is the hope. Whatever you face, Christ’s resurrection is the promise. The worst thing you face, whatever it is, Christ’s resurrection is God’s message that the worst thing is never the last thing. 

The death of Jesus was the worst thing I have ever experienced, but it is not the last word by any means

·        The illness you face, t

·        he financial crisis or even bankruptcy you face,

·        the divorce that looms over,

·        your upcoming court date,

·         the pain of memories that haunt you,

·        the fear that you will be abandoned,

·        the fear of losing your independence,

·        the addiction that grips you,

·        the depression that holds you,

·        whatever it is the is the worst thing you face, or the worst you can imagine … is not the last word.

God has the last word. The last word is YOU. As in, “Christ is risen for YOU.”

AMEN

24 hours that changed the world: it is finished RUMC 3/20/16

24 hours that changed the world: it is finished

RUMC 3/20/16

Richard B. Mellon was the President of the Alcoa Corporation. He and his brother Andrew had a long running joke of playing a game of tag for 7 decades. When Richard was on his deathbed, he called his brother over and whispered, “Last tag” and died. Poor Andrew remained “It” for four years, until he died.

Leonardo da Vinci may have been overly modest on his deathbed, saying, “I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.”

Charles Gussman, a writer and TV announcer. He gently removed his oxygen mask and whispered: “And now for a final word from our sponsor”

Pope Alexander VI on his death bed said, “Okay, okay, I'll come. Just give it a moment."

People have a weird fascination with last words. Jesus last words are among the most powerful in history. But let me set the stage first.

 In spite of what we see in artistic renditions, prisoners carried only the horizontal piece of the cross, called the PATIBULUM. It could weigh between 90 and 100 pounds. Many men could carry it… UNLESS they were sleep deprived, dehydrated, hungry, beaten, and bleeding from a scourging. We are told that when Jesus could no longer carry it, a man named Simon of Cyrene was forced to carry the cross to Golgotha. He was probably a devout Jew who made the long trip from North Africa to celebrate the Passover.

 When they arrived at Golgotha- the place of the skull- they nailed Jesus to the cross. We picture the nails in his palms, but they actually went through the wrist because the flesh in the hands would tear out under the weight of the body. They nailed him to the cross being very careful not to pierce the artery or the nerve that runs through the wrist. They did not want him to bleed to death too quickly, or pass out from the excruciating pain of having that nerve severed. The point was to prolong the suffering.

 Normally we see Jesus feet crossed and nailed to the front of the cross. They may have done that some times, but archeological evidence seems to indicate that the feet were often nailed to the side of the cross with a slab a wood acting like a washer so told them in place.

We picture the cross being pretty high, but the truth is that Roman crosses were only 8-9 feet high. That would put Jesus feet 2-3 feet off the ground. Close enough that he could look into the eyes of those around him.

Death on the cross usually took days. Jesus was crucified at 9 in the morning according to Mark. About noon according to John, and mercifully, he died at 3 in the afternoon. A mercifully short 3-6 hours.

Death by crucifixion was often by suffocation, because the position of the body and the weight of the body prevented exhaling. Some died of congestive heart failure, which might explain why water and blood poured out when they stabbed Jesus with the spear. They may have pierced the pericardium. Others die by loss of blood. None were quick. All were horrible ways to die, but that was the roman intention. So that those who walked by would know not to mess with Rome

 Jesus last words deserve at least 7 sermons, but then we lose the effect of hearing them all together. So I am going to touch on each one today very quickly so we can see the big picture.

 The first word from the cross was “FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO.” You might think that was nice of Jesus but in order to understand the power you have to realize that he was speaking primarily to the guards. There were very few disciples there. The Jewish authorities knew exactly what they were doing. The guards were just doing their job, and had no idea who this was

And then you have to remember that his feet were only 2 feet off the ground so that is like as close as we are right now. He looked them in the eye--- he looked deep within their souls and said “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Forgive them. Can you imagine the power that had? Gives mu goose bumps just thinking about it.

 The next words were similar. Remember there were two bandits, one on each side of Jesus. One joined in the mocking, daring him to jump down off the cross and prove who he was. Of course the man didn’t realize it, but Jesus could have done that at any moment, and didn’t. The other bandit, whose name is lost in history says “Jesus remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Suddenly this guy being executed had an epiphany and realized who Jesus was, or at least is willing to take a chance that he was who he said he was. He came to faith with just hours to live. And Jesus said, “I TELL YOU, TODAY YOU WILL BE WITH ME IN PARADISE.”

These two saying taken together remind us that right up to the end, Jesus was savior. Even dying on the cross, and remember I said exhaling was very difficult. What do you have to do to talk? Exhale!!! With some of his last excruciating breaths, Jesus is offering forgiveness, salvation, and eternal life to those near him. He knew what he was here to do and he never wavered from that mission.

Sometimes I have people tell me “Pastor, I’ve never told another soul about this, but one time I did such and such don’t think there is any way Jesus can forgive me for that.” Really? He forgave the Roman guards who drove nails through his flesh. He forgave and promised eternal life to the thief on the cross next to him after his deathbed confession. What can you do? What can I do that Jesus cannot forgive?

•             The three middle sayings of Jesus’ last words come from a different place in Jesus. They remind us that he was still human. 100% human. “MY GOD MY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME.” Who among us has not felt that way at some time? There are times when life gets so hard, so stressful, so painful that we feel like God has abandoned us. Some people say that Jesus was reciting Scripture Psalm 22. That’s true, but if he wanted to look spiritual, he could have chosen any of 1000 scriptures that express praise to God or confidence to God. No, instead he poured out his heart to God, opened his heart to us, and invited to see that this was a real live man; suffering, dying, and scared.

•           The other two words that I call the middle sayings do the same thing. “I am thirsty.” Of course he was. He was dehydrated and bleeding to death. But thirst is not something God experiences. It is a human need.

•           As was making sure someone looked after his mother. Joseph was apparently dead by this time, or Mary would have had someone to care for her. But Jesus, being a good son, and a loving son, a compassionate son, wanted to make sure that someone looked after his mom. That was his last will and testament. He had no earthly possessions, but his one responsibility as the oldest son was to care for his mother. He gives the disciple John that honor.

“WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME” “I THIRST,” and “WOMAN HERE IS YOUR SON AND HERE IS YOUR MOTHER” are all reminders that for all the forgiveness and all the promises of eternal life that he could offer as God hanging on the cross, Jesus was also still human (just like you.. just like me) with fears, needs, and hopes.

 Finally, there are the last two words from the cross. An expression of ultimate trust in God for all things, “FATHER INTO THY HANDS I COMMEND MY SPIRIT.” And cry of victory “IT IS FINISHED.” What was finished, his life?… Easter morning would show us that his life was not over. No, I think Jesus cried, “It is completed” or “It is finished” because he had finished everything he came to do. He was God incarnate, he lived, taught, preached, healed, argued, and loved. He had experienced every human emotion from the elation of the Mount of Transfiguration to the depth of grief standing before Lazarus’ tomb. But now. Now at last he had shown once and for all how much God loved the world. That God was willing to suffer and die for his people. That God was willing to go to any lengths to bring salvation to the world. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only son.”

People never seemed to realize how much God loved them until God showed them on the cross. You know the saying, “I asked Jesus how much he loved me, and he said ‘this much,’ then he stretched out his arms and died.” It is finished. But the story isn’t over. He knew that. We know that. Easter will prove the rest of the story.

There is one other word from near the cross that I want to close with. One of the guards who had watched this whole episode. He may have helped with the flogging, the mocking, the nailing, the killing… he stood by and watched while his compatriots had a pool to see who would get Jesus’ clothes. Maybe Jesus first word of “FATHER FORGIVE THEM” got his attention, but for whatever reason he had for watching. He was soaking it all in. He was learning. And he was being touched. His life would never be the same. We don’t hear about him again. We don’t know his name.  But we know his confession, “SURELY THIS WAS THE SON OF GOD.”

You stand at the foot of the cross today. This close. Jesus mangled and murdered body hanging lifeless before you. And you can draw your own conclusions.

He was a rebel…He was a good rabbi…He was a healer…He was a kook?

Or, if you dare. If you really believe, that the power of sin was defeated by the power of God’s love on the cross. If you really believe, that God loves you this much. Do you dare say it?

Say it with me. “SURELY THIS WAS THE SON OF GOD.”

24 hours that changed the world: torture RUMC 3/13/2016

24 hours that changed the world: torture

RUMC 3/13/2016

I love this church. We are finishing 9 years together and it has been a great 9 years. I have said, “If things keep going well and if the bishop were to allow it, I wouldn’t mind another 9 years.”

One of the reasons I like it here is you are basically good folks. Although there are occasionally disagreements, we can always work those out. You are really good people and I like to think that I am basically a good person too.

 That is why it is so hard for us to imagine the events that we read about in today’s gospel lesson. None of us good folks would want to have anything to do with such an inhumane, ugly, cruel, atrocity as the torture of Jesus. It is hard for me to believe that any of you would participate in torturing a man to within an inch of his life. If you are like me you probably think, “There’s no way I would have been part that.”

You see, we are not talking about a spanking like one you might have received as a child. We are talking about intentionally and systematically shredding a human body.

Jesus Would have been stripped naked above the waist and handcuffed to a large post, stretched out so he could not move while he was scourged. There would have been two “lichters” trained in the science of doing as much damage as possible with the "flagrum."    The flagrum was a short handled whip. At the business end of each piece of leather there was attached one or more razor sharp pieces of lead, glass, or pottery. A 3rd century Roman historian wrote that, "Christian martyrs in Smyrna were so torn by the scourges that their veins were laid bare, and the inner muscles, sinews, even entrails, were exposed."   Although many people died from the scourging alone, if the prisoner was to be crucified, the lichters were instructed to stop while the prisoner still had the ability to suffer on the cross. Wasn’t that nice of them? Of course that was only the beginning.  Then came the cohort of 600 soldiers mocking him, the purple robe, the fake scepter, the crown of thorns, the spitting and the contemptuous games.  What kid of person does that?

 Before we stand in self-righteous judgment of those who participated in the mocking, torture, and cruelty inflicted upon Jesus; however, let's look a little deeper inside ourselves.

In 1963 Stanley Milgram paid Yale University students $4 an hour to deliver electric shocks to other students who gave the wrong answers to questions. They were instructed to increase the voltage with each wrong answer. The lethal dose of electricity was clearly marked on the dial at 450 Volts. Unbeknownst to them, there was no electrical shock, but only an actor screaming in pain in the next room every time they turned the dial.

Before the experiment, researchers estimated that only 1% of the population would increase the voltage to what they thought were lethal doses.

If you were being paid to do it, would increase the voltage to lethal levels? We want to say no, but are we really any different from the of students who kept increasing the voltage in spite of the screams coming from the other room? Are we really that different from the 65% of students who were willing to increase the voltage past the lethal level, even when the screams of pain fell silent in the other room. 65%!

Do you really think we would do any better than 65%? 

•             Are we really that different from those students?

•             Is the person sitting next to you in the pew really any different from or the dozen subway riders who watched silently as one man stabbed another 30-40 times, stomped on his head and kicked him to death on a busy Washington DC subway?

•             Are you really that different from the seemingly fine upstanding German citizens who happened to have the job of running the furnaces at Dachau?

•             Are we really that different from the Roman guards who taunted and tortured Jesus?

 We are talking about the deepest darkest corners of our fallen human souls, whose existence we would rather deny. We are talking about sin. Although this seems extreme, we know that we are all capable of that.

In a way, it was not just Jesus who was on trial in these last 24 hours of his life. All of humanity was on trial.

If humanity was on trial, they failed miserably.

The evidence? …Betrayal, abandonment, cowardice, denial, lying, rioting, capitulating to crowd pressure, scourging, mocking, and ultimately killing the one and only almighty God of love and forgiveness who became incarnate and walked among us. Humanity failed miserably…We failed miserably. We were guilty of murdering God. Humanity’s desperate need for salvation was never clearer than it was that day.

The question is, where is God in all of this? Why did God apparently let sin win? Why did God let this happen? What was God doing here?

 I assure you, God was there, and God knew exactly what he was doing.

God was doing the work of atonement.

Atonement… a big word that is not too hard to understand if we break it into three words, AT-ONE-MEANT. Sin is brokenness in our relationship with God . Atonement is the process of bringing us back to God, so we can be “at one” with God the way we were “meant” to be. In other words, atonement asks the  question, “what difference Jesus’ death and resurrection make.”

Let me say right away, that in spite of what many people think, the Bible does not speak with one voice on this matter. Atonement is a divine mystery beyond our words and beyond human comprehension. There are, however, several ways that the Biblical authors tried to help us understand what happened on the cross that day.

To my thinking, no single explanation of atonement is adequate. So today I want to lift up two ways of thinking about the atoning suffering and death of Jesus Christ because I think together brings us closer to the truth than any single explanation can by itself.

 The first is the classic doctrine of substitutionary atonement with which most of you are familiar. The substitutionary explanation of atonement says that Jesus suffered and died FOR my sins, or in my place. You see, Jesus’ suffering was punishment intended for criminals. It was intended to punish the guilty. Jesus was not guilty of anything.

We, on the other hand, are guilty… justice demands that we be punished. How can a just God NOT punish us for our sins?

I hope to offer you a mission weekend at the Miracles Can Happen Boys Ranch next fall. The ranch accepts boys who are in deep trouble, to live on the farm for up to two years at a time. One of the strict rules is that the punishment for swearing is ten pushups, and those pushups must be done before anyone eats supper. You might guess that some of the boys rack up quite a debt of pushups by suppertime. One time a particular young man was having a terrible time. Of course, as he struggled to complete his punishment, he would let loose with another cuss word and get ten more pushups added to his sentence. When the sentence got up to about 1000 pushups and the rest of the boys were getting hungry, one of the other boys asked the director if he could do some pushups to help his struggling friend. The director smiled and said of course. Soon all the boys were doing the pushups and the punishment was paid in full.

The innocent took the punishment for the guilty and made it possible for them to all sit down at super together. That is substitutionary atonement.

 By substitution, the guilty boy’s punishment was satisfied by the innocent boys. That explains how a just God can forgive us for our sin without demanding punishment. It is called grace. Because God’s grace trumps sin, “Grace always wins.” God sees our guilt but grace declares us guilty but forgiven, “Grace always wins.”

I said a few minutes ago, that humanity was on trial that day, but in another sense, God was on trial too. What would God do when sinful humanity killed his son?

•             Would God banish us like after the incident in the Garden of Eden?

•             Would God destroy us with a great flood?

•             Would God wrestle with us like Jacob?

•             Would God lead us out of sin, like the Israelites were lead us out of Egypt?

•             Would God exile us to a spiritual Babylon?

•             Or would God finally destroy us for our sin in one final fiery cataclysm.

As it turns out, God did not do any of those things.  The moral explanation of atonement says that instead of Jesus dying FOR my sins, Jesus died BECAUSE OF my sin. There is a very subtle difference between Jesus dying for our sins and dying because of our sin.

The moral explanation of atonement says that Jesus’ death does not change God, rather it changed us. It says that God’s plan was that no human being could look upon the terrible suffering of the innocent son of God and not be changed. No human being could look upon the beaten and bloody face of God in skin without understanding how much God loves us. It was an object lesson in love intended to transform the way we look at God once and for all.

In the suffering of Jesus, people pushed God to the extreme. They pushed God further and further to see if there was any end to God’s patience, God’s grace, and God’s love.

             When we whipped him as much as we could, we pushed on to degrading him and dehumanizing him.

             When we had degraded and dehumanized Jesus in every way possible, we pushed God again to the farthest extreme we could imagine,

             We murdered him.

             And even when we murdered God, The saving message of the resurrection is that not even death can separate us from God’s love. “Love NEVER fails.”

The moral  explanation of atonement says that even when sin did its absolute worst… …even when humanity did its worst … even when we do our worst… God’s love NEVER fails. No matter how broken we are, we cannot break God’s love.

 Now I think the deep mysterious truth of the atonement lies at the intersection of many of the theories of atonement. Somewhere at the intersection of  “grace always wins” and “Love never fails” lies the truth and the power of what Christ’s suffering and death did for us and means to us. The sum of God’s grace that always wins and God’s love that never fails is life itself…, which is new life in Jesus Christ.

Today, I claim that grace and love anew for myself, and I invite you, whether it is the first time or the 101st time, to claim for yourself the reality of God’s grace that always wins, and God’s love that never fails in your own life.

While we sing of God’s amazing love, I invite to you either come to the altar rail, or stay right where you are, claim or reclaim the heights of God’s amazing grace and the depths of God’s amazing love that you might experience, for yourself, the reality of new life in Christ.

24 hours that changed the world: trial before Pilate(Barabbas) RUMC 3/6/16

24 hours that changed the world: trial before Pilate(Barabbas)

RUMC 3/6/16

They got me again. This wasn’t my first time in jail, but it was the first time they threatened crucifixion. Murder they say. I say I did the world a favor like taking out the trash when I killed that tax collector. If he had been like many of them… a brother Jew turned traitor, not one person in the world would have complained. But he turned out to be Roman Citizen. So… there I was. Spending the last night of my life in a Roman prison cell… waiting for the guards to come get me. I was thinking, “Oh, if my hands weren’t tied, I would have done anything to kill one of those heartless animals with my bear hands.” I know it would not have done any good. They still would have killed me, but I wanted the satisfaction of feeling the life go out of him as I choked him.

The night drug on and as I looked up, I could see just a little sunlight. Morning was dawning I knew it wouldn’t be long now.

I heard a commotion outside. I braced myself because I figured they were coming for me. I could see shadows and hear voices, but I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. From what I could gather, Pilate was being his usual faltering self. He was just the emperor’s buffoon, biding his time until a more attractive opportunity came along in Rome. He cared nothing about my people.

It got noisier above me. It sounded like more and more people gathering. I could hear shouting and them Pilate answering. It wasn’t long and the guards brought another prisoner and threw him in with me.

I didn’t think I knew him, but once I looked past the blood and swelling, I realized I had seen him. He was a Rabbi and I heard him preach at the temple. I was too far back to get a very good look at him, but I was sure that this was the same man. I remember because he turned around and went in to the temple and flipped over the tables and chewed out the merchants. He caused quite a bit of trouble that day. That’s probably why the chief priests were so upset with him.

The rumor was that he claimed to be the messiah. But what kind of messiah was this Rabbi from up north with a little rag tag bunch of bumbling disciples. How does he expect anyone to take him seriously if he brings no army, and no weapons? Instead of soldiers, he talked about children. Instead of weapons, he taught, “When your enemy strikes you, turn the other cheek.” OK That might work with a little neighborly disagreement, but how was that going to drive out the Romans and restore independence and freedom to my people?

I even heard a story that he came in to town on a donkey and expected people to hail him messiah. Some did, but many of us just could not believe that a rabbi who preached love could get the job done against the mighty Roman Empire, even if God was on his side.

Freedom will be won through might, not meekness. Sovereignty will be returned to Israel when the blood of roman soldiers runs like a waterfall down the steps of the temple. Love and forgiveness? No way!

Our eyes met as he fell into the cell, and he seemed distant. I wasn’t sure where he was. He kept mumbling something about, “Not my will. Not my way.” Maybe he was delirious; it looked like someone had given him a pretty hard time. He was really bloody and one of his eyes was so swollen it looked like it might just pop out of the socket. Neither of us were in the mood to talk much. I suspected he was there for the same reason I was.

After a while, the dog himself came to the cell. Pilate. I cursed him, but he ignored me. He went to the other man and asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?” I thought that was a stupid question. Did he look like a king? He replied only, “You say so.”

I thought Pilate was going to pop his cork. He asked him some other questions, but the Rabbi said nothing. Pilate was talking in a low voice, but I heard him say that he knew this guy was innocent and the High Priests were jealous. Pilate kept after him. “Don’t’ you have anything to say to defend yourself? You aren’t giving me much to work with here.” He just turned his head and went back to mumbling.

 I called after Pilate as he left. “I’m innocent too. I’ll talk to you.” He didn’t even turn around.

The rabbi never sat down. He stood with his hands bound behind his back and his head hanging. He mumbled most of the time. I couldn’t understand most of it, but I heard him say “Blessed are the poor in spirit, Blessed are the meek, blessed are the peacemakers.”

Surely he knew there was no making peace with the Romans.

After some time I heard voices above again. They came and got the rabbi and I could hear Pilate asking what they Jews wanted him to do with this innocent man. “Crucify him, Crucify him.” was their answer. The bloodthirsty chant still haunts me. I’ve never been able to get rid of that.

Pilate usually let one prisoner go on Passover weekend. It was one small gesture on the part of the heartless roman pawn to appease my people. I was sure he would send the other man home. After all he knew he was innocent. And there wasn’t much questions about my guilt. I did what I did in the open daylight and everyone saw me. I have wiggled out of a lot of tight places before, but there was no way I was wiggling out of this one. I would be crucified any time now. Probably with my friends down the hall. Just like me they were accused of attacking that tax collector and stealing Rome’s money. The only difference was I didn’t run away after we got the money. I let me temper get the best of me and killed him. That’s always been my downfall. I just don’t know when to quit and my temper gets me in trouble.

I couldn’t believe my ears when Pilate gave the crowd the choice between that man, who was apparently named Jesus also, and me. I thought there’s no contest there. It wasn’t even worth asking. No one knew of cared for me. But the crowd started shouting “Barabbas, Barabbas, Barabbas.” I had to listen to it about 4 times before I could believe my ears. “Barabbas, Barabbas, Barabbas.”  

I heard Pilate order the other Jesus’ whipping and Crucifixion and my release. The guards came and opened the door. I was so shocked I just stood there. One of them reached in and grabbed me by the hair and pulled me out. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I didn’t really know the other guy, but I felt sorry for him. Even Pilate believed that he was innocent and in his mind, all the Jews were guilty and deserved to die. The only thing they were good for is paying taxes. Yet he seemed sure about this Jesus.

I stood by watching as they beat him mercilessly. I didn’t want to get too close in case they would change their mind and give me some of the same. They acted like animals. Taunting him, cursing him, beating him. They put a purple robe on him and a crown made of those nasty thorns that rip up your legs as you walk across the Kidron Valley. They jammed it on his head. And he screamed in pain.

They made him carry the wood on which he would die, and started out of the Praetorium toward the dump where the guards were preparing for him. Behind him were my accomplices, also bloody and carrying their deadly loads. I wanted to run far, far away, but I couldn’t. I walked beside this sorry shadow of a man they called Jesus, and kept thinking, “That should have been me.” I kept thinking how close I came to be being the one on my way to die. My heart got heavier and heavier. I thought it was going to stop beating right there.

And then the strangest thing happened. Our eyes locked on one another for the longest time. I couldn’t look away. It was probably for a few seconds, but it seems like forever. It was as if he could see through me. It was as if he knew everything about me, everything. Everything I had ever stolen, every person I had killed, every lie I told, and every sorrow I had known. But how could he? I couldn’t shake the feeling that his eyes were searching the deepest darkest parts of my soul.

But you know what? There was not one sign of anger. There was not one sign of resentment. There was not one sign of bitterness or hostility. His eyes were gentle. They were kind. I thought… (No that’s silly)… well I’ll tell you anyway…  I thought I saw love in those eyes. I looked again and tried to see through into him as he saw into me and I could not shake the feeling that he was OK with this.

I had enough. I wanted to leave. But my legs would not carry me. They turned to stone and all I could do is sit down and watch from a distance.

The sounds of crucifixion are horrendous. If you have never heard them you can’t imagine the sound of the tearing flesh, the screaming, the taunting, the wheezing as breathing gets harder and harder.  

I heard Jesus say some things from the cross. I couldn’t believe what he said. He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Forgive the Romans. Forgive the very men who drove steal spikes into your flesh. Forgive those who stripped you naked and had a pool about how long it would take you to die. Forgive? Then I realized that he was talking about me too.

I should have been on that cross. I should have been between my friends. I should have been the bloody, exhausted one, struggling for every breath and drowning in my own fluids as I hung there. I… I.. I… deserved it. That cross had my name on it, and he took my place…and he was OK with that. He was at peace with that.

One of the men beside him on a cross taunted him, but the other called out to him. He said “Today you will be with me in paradise.” Really? I knew that guy. We grew up together and if there was one place he did not deserve to go when he died it was paradise.

And then it hit me. I wasn’t getting what I deserved either. He willingly took my place, received my punishment, felt the pain of my nails, paid for my sins with his life, and offered nothing in return but forgiveness and a promise of paradise.

Forgiveness and promise of paradise for a scumbag like me. I didn’t deserve forgiveness. I didn’t deserve paradise any more than my friend. But that did not matter to the rabbi of love. That did not matter to the rabbi of forgiveness. That did not matter to the rabbi who willingly died for me, and for everything I had ever done.

I felt free. I mean not just out of jail, but free inside. Free in a way I had never been free. I felt like this was the beginning of a new life for me. I didn’t understand it. But as he took his last breath. I took my first breath as a new person. I could never be the person I was before. I was alive. More alive than I had ever been, because of Jesus.

As I walked home I remembered a passage from the synagogue about the promised one.

Surely he has borne our infirmities
  and carried our diseases;
yet we accounted him stricken,
  struck down by God, and afflicted.
 But he was wounded for our transgressions,
  crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the punishment that made us whole,
  and by his bruises we are healed.

All we like sheep have gone astray;
  we have all turned to our own way,
and the Lord has laid on him
  the iniquity of us all.

 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted,
  yet he did not open his mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
  and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent,
  so he did not open his mouth. (Isaiah 53:4-7)