Building Blocks of Christian families #3 love- Mother’s Day and graduation day 5/12/19

Building Blocks of Christian families

#3 love- Mother’s Day and graduation day

5/12/19

How many of you have ever played the conversation game… “WOULD YOU RATHER?” Let’s play a couple of rounds.

 Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20 minutes early?

Would you rather lose all your money and valuables or all of the pictures you have ever taken?

Would you rather be famous when you are alive and forgotten when you die or unknown when you are alive but famous after you die?

Would you rather go to jail for 4 years for something you didn’t do or get away with something horrible you did but always live in fear of being caught?

I ask you these “would you rather” questions today because our scripture today lends itself to asking those kinds of questions about the nature of true love as we work our way through the first three verses of 1 Corinthians 13.

 This is the third message in the series of sermons I call “Building blocks of Christian Families.” It is a very practical series aimed at families of all kinds. The note sheet in the bulletin tells you what we have talked about so far and you can find the sermons on the web site in either video or written form. 

I saved “Living Love” for Mother’s Day and graduate recognition Sunday. For many people mother love is the first and strongest love they ever know. What I am saying, however, applies to mothers, fathers, grandparents, adopted families, step families, blended families, foster families, and any family relationship you might have. I also understand that not everyone has a mother in their life, and not all mothers are the same. I ask you to be very generous in applying what I am saying today to the family you love regardless of its configuration or the specific relationships. Whenever I name a family role, please pull out your google translators and translate what I am saying to whatever you call the people closest to you.

Starting with the graduates. First, congratulations. You have worked hard, and a lot of people are proud of you. You should be proud of you. But let’s take a moment to chat about families. Did any of you have perfect families? Maybe you think your parents were too strict, or they played favorites among your brothers and sisters and you lost, or your siblings drove you nuts.

Let me tell you, almost all families have those stresses and strains to some greater or lesser degree That doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Far from it.

In fact you are here today in large part because someone loved you enough to guide you, and help you, and discipline you, and force you to go to school on days when you didn’t want to go, and hold your hand when you received a shot, and set boundaries for you, and on a very fundamental level feed, clothe and make sure you had a place to live. Those are all acts of family love. You probably wouldn’t be here today without that.

It might be hard to see right now, but someday you will likely be very grateful for both the unconditional love and the important lessons your parents have shown you.

 So, let’s learn about love as we play the “would you rather” game.

WOULD YOU RATHER spend your life with

someone who is all powerful

or someone who loves you?

Paul writes “If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” The question is someone who can do amazing things or someone who loves you unconditionally.

Since this comes right upon the heels of chapter 12 which is about all the gifts of the spirit, Paul may have been talking specifically about the spiritual gift of speaking in tongues. One can argue, however, that the hymn to love in chapter 13 stands very well on its own. If we take 13:1 for what it says by itself, Paul is saying NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.

If I was the most amazing healer… if I could control the weather… if I figured out a way to end wars and hunger… if I could climb the highest mountains… and swim across the ocean, that might be amazing… but if I don’t have love I am nothing.

The inverse is also true, don’t worry if you can’t do any of those amazing things. Love is amazing all by itself.

 When Amber was 4 she had heart surgery in which they had to put her on a bypass machine and stop her heart. If leaping tall buildings would have kept her out of the operating room, I would have tried. If walking on hot coals would have prevented the pain of recovery, I would have tried it. But there was nothing… absolutely nothing I could do as they wheeled her off to the surgical sweet gripping her favorite stuffed animal, a white scotty dog, with all her strength.

Far from being all-powerful. There was nothing we could do. We were helpless. Absolutely helpless. All I could do is love and trust that would be enough.

Maybe you have an addict in your family. A parent or uncle, or spouse, or maybe one of your children. The first step in a 12-step recovery is ADMITTING THAT YOU ARE POWERLESS OVER THE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS. Powerless. Admitting that you can’t DO anything. Those who love addicts have to come face to face, perhaps after years of enabling the addictive behavior, they have to come face to face with the ugly reality that they can do nothing to fix the addition for someone else.

Far from being all-powerful. We are helpless. Absolutely helpless. All we can do is love.

and trust that will be enough.

WOULD YOU RATHER spend your life with

someone who is all powerful

or someone who loves you?

Definitely someone who loves me because NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.

The next question is

would you rather have someone who knows all the answers or

someone to love you.

In verse 2, Paul writes, “And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”

Paul is saying, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.

Albert Einstein might be the man who came closest to understanding all things… but apparently, he was awful with his family. Although some say they have evidence otherwise, it is generally believed that he was a bad father and failed to take responsibility for his children. The story goes that “When he wanted a divorce from his first wife, Einstein gave her the ultimatum that, if she wanted to remain with him and not grant him a divorce, then he expected her to serve him three meals a day in his room but not expect any intimacy in return.”

Understanding all things, even reading all the child psychology and parenting books in the world means nothing if you don’t know how to love.

 Would you rather have someone who knows all the answers or

someone to love you.

I say love. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU DO, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.

Finally, Paul writes, “If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” So  would you rather

live with someone who can give you anything you want, or

someone who loves you.

Don’t raise your hands, but I’ll bet there are kids here or you have kids in your family who seem to have every toy in the world. Perhaps they don’t play with them, but they line the shelves of their room as if it was a toy store.

Sometimes grandma is just a generous person, but more often someone… the divorced parents, the absent grandparent, the favorite aunt and her wife, someone is trying to make up for not being there. That may not be your situation. But if you feel like you must give your kids every single newest toy in the world… consider the money might be better spent buying an ice cream cone and taking a long walk at swan lake while you find out what they worry about. Giving them that time would show more love than another box from Amazon.

So, would you rather

 live with someone who can give you anything you want, or

someone who loves you.

I don’t know about you, I’ll take someone who loves me. NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU GIVE, IF YOU DON’T SHOW LOVE IT MEANS NOTHING.

 Listen to these three verses together again and see if you hear them differently. If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Are we anything without love? No.

We don’t need a superpower. We don’t need to be able to do anything. We don’t have to know everything. We don’t have to give them everything. We have the ultimate superpower of love. Living in love is the third building block of Christian families.

The superpower of Love is what causes a father to fall in love the first time he holds his tiny, wrinkly, self-centered, noisy, and sometimes smelly daughter.

The superpower of Love is what keeps moms up night after night with a sick child.

The superpower of love is what tears at a child’s hearts when grandma dies.

The superpower of love is what makes it possible to live with an addict when they relapse over and over and over again.

The superpower of love is stronger than harsh words.

The superpower of love is stronger than broken curfews.

The superpower of love is faster than our normal reactions as we snag the hand of the child just about to step into the busy street without looking.

The superpower of love is what holds families together when one of the kids brings home a same sex partner.

The superpower of love is perhaps the most important building block for your family.

So, here’s how to use the superpower.

I had a parishioner in Reinbeck who was a much beloved teacher. He had heart surgery and afterwards a young lady came in and said, “Do you remember me?” He did. He had exceptionally sharp mind and remembered that she was a student from a few years ago. She said I just wanted you to know that I held your heart in my hands.

Les told me because it was such a profound moment of realizing how we are interconnected. Let me tell you. You are responsible for holding he heart of each person in your family right in the palm of your hands.

When your graduate gets a smart mouth and says, “I am 18 I can do as I like.” Hold your hand out and imagine his heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.

When your step dad treats his own children just a little better than he treats you and your brother. Hold your hand out and imagine your step dad’s heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.

When your 17-year-old daughter comes to tell you that she is pregnant. Hold your hand out and imagine her heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.

When your sibling makes crazy demands when you are trying to clean out the house after your mother’s death. Hold your hand out and imagine his or her heart right there in your palm and then answer in love.

When your spouse starts with dementia and says mean things… hold out your hand and imagine their heart right there in your palm and then respond in love.

Hold one another’s hearts gently… and let love be a foundation for your family.