The Power and Problem of Forgiveness: WHY? Carroll UMC 3/7 and 3/8 2020

The Power and Problem of Forgiveness: WHY?

Carroll UMC 3/7 and 3/8 2020

 A man was lucky enough to find a Genie, but it was a discount Genie and only offered one wish. Anything he wanted. The only catch was whatever he wished for his enemies would get double. The man thought and thought. He couldn’t stand the thought that his enemies would get twice as much wealth or that they would live twice as long.  He finally had a genius idea. The next day when the Genie appeared the Genie said, “remember, your enemies will get double your wish, so chose carefully.” The man said I have the perfect wish.  I wish to have one eye poked out.”.

  C. S. Lewis was right: “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.”

When people hear the word forgiveness, they react in a couple different ways.

Some might say, “Finally, I hope so and so is listening.

Some might want to get up and walk out because you don’t want me meddling with your grudges and bitterness. 

Others might tune me out because they expect a sanctimonious sermon wagging my finger at all of YOU who have trouble with forgiveness. I want you to know the truth.  I am preaching this series to myself, and letting you listen in. 

I need it at least as much as any of you.

So, for the brave souls who are still here,

the foundational doctrine behind God’s forgiveness is that God is love. And the foundational doctrine behind human forgiveness is that we are made in God’s graciously loving image. In fact, the central facts of the Christian faith, Jesus death on the cross and the resurrection, are all about forgiveness. It is one thing, however to seek God’s forgiveness… after all God is kind of in the forgiving business.    It is a very different thing to take the next step and say since we are made in the image of God we too are in the forgiving business. 

Let’s start then with WHY? 

Why would we want to forgive?

After all, “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, right?”

It is natural to want to protect ourselves from those who have hurt us. In fact we must protect ourselves.

That doesn’t mean we can’t forgive but why would we want to?

 First let’s start with our bodies. Unforgiveness, bitterness, and anger are like a disease. It is more than a spiritual disease.  It is one that has a real effect on our bodies.

Of all cancer patients, 61 percent have forgiveness issues, and of those, more than half are severe. Unforgiveness and the anxiety that it causes produces excess adrenaline and cortisol, which deplete the production of natural killer cells, which are the body's foot soldiers in the fight against cancer,"  

The National Co-morbidity Study asked nearly 10,000 U.S. residents, “Have you ever held a grudge against someone for years?”  Those who said yes also had higher rates of heart disease, cardiac arrest, elevated blood pressure, stomach ulcers, arthritis, back problems, headaches, chronic pain,  brain hemorrhage, anorexia, bulimia, sleeplessness, and  psychological disorders.

Literally unforgiveness will kill you.

 Second, unforgiveness spills over into all our relationships, degrading our communication skills, thinking abilities and decision-making power.

Unforgiveness is a chronic trauma which causes the brain to go into a hyperactive state which can cause hormonal imbalance . We become obsessed with the wrong. We become mistrusting of everyone. We become unable to enjoy present relationships. We have increased trouble maintaining healthy relationships.   We have increased likelihood of divorce, loneliness, depression, and suicide.

Unforgiveness is a poison that kills other relationships one at a time until leaving a person completely and desperately alone.

 Finally, unforgiveness puts us directly at odds with every major religious tradition in the world because they all encourage forgiveness.

Unforgiveness creates more than just a little problem for Christians because for us forgiveness is not just encouraged, it is a fundamental expectation. We are taught that our inability to forgive clogs the pipeline that brings divine forgiveness to us.

                                                                                                                                    Augustine said that the 5th petition of the Lord’s prayer, “Forgive us our trespasses, (or debts or sins) as we forgive those who trespass against us,” is a terrible  petition.  He pointed out that if you pray these words while harboring an unforgiving spirit, you are actually asking God NOT to forgive you. Think about that for a minute          .We are praying  “O God, deal with me as I deal with other people.” Do unto me as I have done to others.” Spurgeon said to pray the Lord ’s Prayer with an unforgiving spirit is to sign your own death warrant.

You can see unforgiveness is a real problem in every part of our lives; physical, emotional, and spiritual. Let’s keep digging a little deeper into the spiritual reasons to forgive.

If you want the bottom line…(spoiler alert ) we forgive  “because Jesus said so.”

Over and over again Jesus teaches that we must forgive.  Let’s build up to today’s gospel lesson.

In Matthew chapter 5 is filled with great teaching about forgiveness. We talk about it several times In verse 7 Jesus said

  “Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.”  I said in another sermon that mercy is giving someone something they don’t deserve… like forgiveness when they have hurt us.

In verse 21, we find Jesus expanding the Old Testament law. The law said do not murder, Jesus says do not be angry.  In order to free ourselves of anger we must forgive.

 Then in verse 23, Jesus talks about how unforgiveness affects our relationship with God and our ability to worship. He says if you are headed to church, and you realize someone has something against you (I think it goes without saying that he would also say if you have anything against someone else) stop where you are. Go take care of the relationship and then come back to offer your gift to God.  Carrying a load of unforgiveness means we can’t lift our hearts and hands in worship.. How can you worship a forgiving God if you are unforgiving?

 I John 4 puts it this way “20 Those who say, ‘I love God,’ and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen.”  Those who cannot forgive a brother or sister are fundamentally unable to receive God’s forgiveness. 

Now let me be clear… this is not talking about our salvation.  We cannot earn our salvation by forgiving others. That would be works righteousness.   No, this is instruction on how we must live out our salvation.

 Which brings us to the story of the unforgiving servant from Matthew 18.

We are like the unforgiving servant. We stand before Almighty God with our sins piled up like a mountain. The mountain is so tall we can’t get over it, so deep we can’t get under it, so wide we can’t go around it. That’s every one of us. Our sins are like a $500 million dollar debt we could never pay in our lifetime or in a thousand lifetimes. We come as debtors to God, come with empty hands, and we say, “I cannot pay.” God who is rich in mercy replies, “I forgive all your sins. My Son has paid the debt. You owe me nothing.” Then we rise from the pew, leave the communion table, walk outside the church humming “Amazing grace my chains are gone .”

 And before we get to our car we see someone who borrowed $2 from us, so we grab him by the throat and say, “Pay me right now! or else.”

The parable ends with more terrible words… I wish we could sugar coat them but we can’t

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’  In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

  Jesus concludes, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Bottom line. If you release them, you will be set free.

 For this series of sermons I am defining Christian forgiveness as, “A decision we make to not imprison others our ourselves in the past.”

It’s a conscious choice to release others from their sins against us so that we can be set free. Release them, and you will be set free.

Which all sounds great until we get real. The very moment we say those words, the mind begins to argue with us: “But you don’t know what he did to me.” “They lied about me over and over again.” You know the excuses your brain makes up.

I know how hard it is. I am right there with you.  In the next several sermons we are going to talk about how we forgive, and some of the hurdles to forgiveness.  We will work through some of the hard questions together.

I promise I will never tell you that forgiveness is easy.  Only that you must set them free to be free yourself.

I am going to share a powerful video story of forgiveness. It might hit close to home for some, but if you can stick with it, it is worth it.

  (video)

Release them, and you will be set free.